British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,089

Quote: Brian Bickerstaffe @ September 1 2012, 1:58 PM BST

Anyone fill me in on the correct, and accepted, etiquette for when you are walking behind a person in a building and going through a series of doors - lets say in a long corridor. They hold the door open for you for a split second each time one appears.

Where I work there is an area like that, about four doors in a narrow corridor area one after the other. Often happens I'm the one holding the door or having the door held, I think the one thanks at the beginning and another at the end, like zooo said is enough. Bit awkward though, agreed....and then there is how much distance should you wait, it looks idiotic to wait if someone is a bit further back, but then there is the thought that it's rude to let the door go...arrrgh!

Quote: Brian Bickerstaffe @ September 1 2012, 1:58 PM BST

Anyone fill me in on the correct, and accepted, etiquette for when you are walking behind a person in a building and going through a series of doors - lets say in a long corridor. They hold the door open for you for a split second each time one appears.

Now...do you simply thank them the first time they do it, or should one thank them each and every time (this, in theory could be lots of 'thank yous') - until you part ways. To me, the multi-thanks approach seems contrived and perhaps irritating to the door opener.

I opt, and have always done so, for the 'just thank once' approach - but can't say for certain if it's accepted protocol in the door opening/thanking world?

I've considered stopping to bend down to pretend to tie my shoes in the past (or when in a naturist hotel for instance - I'd peer down and check my bits) in order to create enough space between us so that the door opener can effectively take a quick glance back and think 'F**k him, he's now at such a distance that society doesn't demand that I should hold the door open for him any longer'.

That way both parties are effectively 'off the hook'.

Advice please...

Have you thought of grabbing them after the first door and giving them a really strong hug of thanks? They'll then be so shit scared that they'll tear off along the corridor and won't be anywhere near you to open the next door.

People in supermarkets who, on reaching the freezer section, decide that they don't want the fresh food they've chosen and put it in the freezer in exchange for a frozen variety !

Last evening I saw 3 x £2.50 fresh pizzas dumped in the frozen ones and a fresh leg of lamb priced about £7.50 dumped in the frozen meat. A criminal waste of food especially if multiplied over the country as a whole.

Quote: Brian Bickerstaffe @ September 1 2012, 1:58 PM BST

Anyone fill me in on the correct, and accepted, etiquette for when you are walking behind a person in a building and going through a series of doors - lets say in a long corridor. They hold the door open for you for a split second each time one appears.

Now...do you simply thank them the first time they do it, or should one thank them each and every time (this, in theory could be lots of 'thank yous') - until you part ways. To me, the multi-thanks approach seems contrived and perhaps irritating to the door opener.

I opt, and have always done so, for the 'just thank once' approach - but can't say for certain if it's accepted protocol in the door opening/thanking world?

I've considered stopping to bend down to pretend to tie my shoes in the past (or when in a naturist hotel for instance - I'd peer down and check my bits) in order to create enough space between us so that the door opener can effectively take a quick glance back and think 'F**k him, he's now at such a distance that society doesn't demand that I should hold the door open for him any longer'.

That way both parties are effectively 'off the hook'.

Advice please...

Huh, since you pass through the first door first, it is your turn to hold the second door open, then his/her turn for the third & so on, alternating.

Quote: billwill @ September 1 2012, 6:26 PM BST

Huh, since you pass through the first door first, it is your turn to hold the second door open, then his/her turn for the third & so on, alternating.

I have visions of that ending up like this . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=f0DXDV1xThU

Quote: Oldrocker @ September 1 2012, 6:33 PM BST

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=f0DXDV1xThU

Sweet :D

Quote: chipolata @ September 1 2012, 1:46 PM BST

Yeah, it's just politeness to hold a door open for someone. Long live common human decency!

Yeah, I hold open doors for guys I don't slam them in chick's faces!

Hey MarcP why do you call your bum cheeks doors?

Quote: Marc P @ September 1 2012, 10:16 PM BST

Yeah, I hold open doors for guys I don't slam them in chick's faces!

TMI

Quote: chipolata @ September 1 2012, 1:46 PM BST

Yeah, it's just politeness to hold a door open for someone. Long live common human decency!

I'm not against holding doors open for people, it's when a man reaches the door first but rather than doing the sensible thing of going through the door and holding it open, they stop and make me go through the door first which slows us both up.

TTPYO: This f**king place. Grr.

Although when you go through a door and have to wait a few extra seconds for it to finish slamming back towards you.

Quote: Harridan @ September 1 2012, 10:20 PM BST

TTPYO: This f**king place. Grr.

It can take some time, but just learn to ignore, or make light of, the f**kwits that want to piss you off. Then it's pretty good.

Even worse is when it's obvious that, like yourself, the other person is also in a strange building for the first time too. You then sometimes end up making banal conversation about 'how many bloomin doors are there here?', or...'Wow I didn't realise this place was so big!', or, 'This trek would knacker Mo Farrah!'. This is accompanied by the appropriate insincere chuckles and false smiles.

You suddenly have a new friend - of sorts.

Even worse if, say, it then turns out that you are both heading to the same waiting room - only to find that you are the only 2 in there. Now, do you continue with the banal bulls**t chat? Do you ignore them as if you've never met? Do you offer casual sex later on?* Do you murder them? Am I paranoid?

*Especially if of the opposite sex.

The weird thing with that is for me you only connect when you swop names

till then its just chit chat

Quote: sootyj @ September 2 2012, 9:10 AM BST

The weird thing with that is for me you only connect when you swop names

till then its just chit chat

Yes - I get that - apart that for me it's not the names bit - rather the bodily fluids.....

Quote: Brian Bickerstaffe @ September 2 2012, 11:20 AM BST

Yes - I get that - apart that for me it's not the names bit - rather the bodily fluids.....

I knew someone who liked it when their girlfriend sneezed on them...I'm guessing that's not what you mean.

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