British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,087

I do watch a bit of Man v Food...

You wanna watch this:

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=160

and the Megatoad...

http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=162

I'm currently watching all the minutes of this particular day trying to slip by unnoticed. I'm impressed by the speed at which they're going, but quite cross they are not taking me with them.

I am going to feed some ducks with the kids. This what I am doing. Indeed. Now. In a minute. Damn it!

Better still, Joyce, like Joey Chestnut, why not eat 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes?

Or like Sonya Thomas, 65 hard-boiled eggs in six minutes, 40 seconds.

Man, I love Sonya Thomas!

Quote: Joyce @ August 28 2012, 10:31 AM BST

I am going to feed some ducks with the kids.

I think they prefer bread Joyce.

Quote: Ignatius Rake @ August 28 2012, 10:37 AM BST

65 hard-boiled eggs in six minutes, 40 seconds ?

A record I'll be bound !

Quote: Oldrocker @ August 28 2012, 11:28 AM BST

A record I'll be bound !

Hahaha!

You should write headlines if you don't already!

Buskers in subway tunnels. They've got you trapped. I had to march grimly past a Sax Man today, pretending to read a text so I didn't have to make eye contact with the bastard.

People who stop in shop doorways as they're leaving or entering and momentarily block it. Idiots.

Quote: Ben @ September 1 2012, 10:33 AM BST

People who stop in shop doorways as they're leaving or entering and momentarily block it. Idiots.

Better still, the ones who start off begrudgingly holding the door open for you, so you can come out before they come in (or vice-versa) then, when they realize you've got four kids behind you, they push past you impatiently like a dick.

Quote: Nicky Liar @ August 28 2012, 11:07 AM BST

I think they prefer bread Joyce.

My youngest girl just eats the bread anyway. The ducks/swans/seagulls get hardly anything. Her arm swings out for a throw, then she looks at the bread in her hand and brings it to her mouth. Comical. However, not so comical when she empties our actual lunch into the canal. No...not as funny.

I remember I once slammed a door in a kids face. It was an accident but I still smile when I think about it.

Quote: chipolata @ September 1 2012, 10:47 AM BST

I remember I once slammed a door in a kids face. It was an accident but I still smile when I think about it.

Hah...funny...but only because it was someone else's kid.

Tine to start a "Cruelty to children for comic effect" thread...

Quote: Tursiops @ September 1 2012, 10:53 AM BST

Tine to start a "Cruelty to children for comic effect" thread...

I do it every day...it's still the six hundred-week holiday you know! There's got to be at least some point to having kids, even if the enjoyment is all mine!

Quote: Joyce @ September 1 2012, 10:47 AM BST

Better still, the ones who start off begrudgingly holding the door open for you, so you can come out before they come in (or vice-versa) then, when they realize you've got four kids behind you, they push past you impatiently like a dick.

This happens to me all the bloody time! That and people who insist on holding the door open long enough to get a pushchair through but not to get through yourself. Oh, and chivalrous (read: backwards) men who insist you go through a door first because your female even though it is inconvenient to both of you because it means walking around him, or under his arm as he awkwardly holds the door open. WHO ARE YOU HELPING?!

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