Here's one we keep coming back to, well I do more than Aid.
I'm sure there's a classic in here somewhere!
CITY WRESTLERS
A MOUSTACHIOED CITY TYPE GENT, WEARING A BOWLER HAT, PIN STRIPED SUIT CARRYING AN UMBRELLA AND A BRIEFCASE IS WALKING UP THE PATH TO HIS FRONT DOOR. HE LETS HIMSELF IN AND PUTS HIS HAT AND UMBRELLA ON THE HALL STAND.
GENT
Hello dear. Awful bloody day today.
GENT WALKS INTO LIVING ROOM AND POURS HIMSELF A DRINK FROM A GLASS DECANTER.
DEEP , HUSKY VOICE (O.O.V)
Have you dear, oh that’s a shame. Dinner’s nearly ready. Lamb chops tonight.
CITY GENT REMOVES CLOTHING TO REVEAL PINK LYCRA LEOTARD. SLIDING DOORS, DIVIDING KITCHEN AND LIVING ROOM, OPEN. INTO THE LIVING ROOM WALKS A 6’2”, BURLY, MOUSTACHIOED MRS CITY GENT WEARING A FLORAL PINNY OVER THE TOP OF BLACK TRUNKS AND UNION FLAG VEST. SHE GOES UP TO CITY GENT AND KISSES HIM ON THE CHEEK, REMOVES PINNY AND STEPS BACK.
MRS CITY GENT
Not more problems with that awful Mr Sheldrake? I think it’s about time you told him to feck off.
WHILST TALKING SHE BEGINS CIRCLING MR CITY GENT, FIRST CLOCKWISE AND THEN ANTICLOCKWISE WITH ONE ARM BEHIND HER BACK AND THE OTHER REACHING OUT FOR MR CITY GENT. MR CITY GENT RESPONDS BY GRABBING THE OUTSTRETCHED HAND WITH BOTH HANDS AND TWISTS.
MR CITY GENT
Once again you’re absolutely right dear, I’ll tell the blaggard tomorrow.
THERE THEN ENSUES A WRESTLING BOUT INCORPORATING ALL THE TWISTS, TURNS, MOANS AND GROANS ASSOCIATED WITH SUCH AN EVENT, WHILST BOTH PARTIES CONTINUING IN CONVERSATION.
MR CITY GENT
So how was your day dear?
MRS CITY GENT
Well not bad. Met Mrs Triangle outside the butchers this afternoon. She said her Johnny will be released soon.
MR CITY GENT
That’s splendid, my love.
MRS CITY GENT
Yes, as soon as the vicar confesses to where he’s concealed him.
MRS CITY GENT PLACES MR CITY GENT IN A ‘BOSTON CRAB’ HOLD AND MR CITY PASSES WIND.
MR CITY GENT
Pardon me, dear.
MRS CITY GENT
Oh, that reminds me, I got a nice piece of liver for your tea tomorrow.
MR CITY GENT
Marvellous Dear. I’ll bring in a nice bottle of wine to wash it down.
MRS CITY GENT
1995 Chateaux Marguax?
MR CITY GENT
Actually, I was thinking more a Chateau Lafite Rothschild Pauillac 1996. We are in a recession, my sweet.
MR CITY GENT THEN TAPS MRS CITY GENT TWICE TO CONCEDE. THEY BOTH GET TO THEIR FEET. THEY SHAKE HANDS.
MR CITY GENT
Well done, dear.
