Very Picky

Through a snipers scope we see a man sitting at a table outside a cafe, he is picking his nose.

The sniper scope then pans onto another table where several serious looking people are sitting.

The sniper scope zooms in on a man dressed as a General.

A waiter then comes into the scope blocking the view

The scope moves back to the man on the other table who is still picking his nose

The scope returns to the general who is now getting ready to leave

The scope then pans back to the man on the other table, he has taken his finger from his nose and has placed his finger into his mouth eating the content of his nose

The scope pans back to the general who is standing up yawning presenting the perfect shot

The scope goes back to the nose picker.

We hear a shot

The nose picker lays dead across the table.

I think it needs to be someone more annoying who ends up getting shot
Nose-picking seems a bit soft.
Good quickie.

Good idea and I could visualise the scope panning around, but I wonder if it would work better if he shot the general who innocently yarned instead of the nose picker which was more expected.

I agree, It was laziness on my part as I just went with the basics rather than get bogged down doing the whole Le Carre back drop.
Thanks for the feed back it is constructive and that's exactly what I need.
I lost my love of writing for a while so it feels good to put stuff up again.

A street-mime would be too obvious - but I think it needs to be something like that...
Dunno.

How about if the subject was in a near by flat window doing something really annoying but appallingly bad like stacking playing cards?

Essentially you're making a comment about how annoying something is, through hyperbole.
So it needs to be something that would work in a stand-up set in the "Don't you hate people that...." sort of joke.
Whether it's through a window or in the same cafe is neither here nor there - just a matter of how you want it to look.

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ August 26 2012, 7:34 PM BST

I lost my love of writing for a while so it feels good to put stuff up again.

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It's great that you are coming up with so many ideas!

I think this is an excellent idea. I quite like the idea of him shooting someone just because he's picking his nose. I just wonder if this is revealed too soon? Could you have him shoot the general then work his way through a series of annoying people?

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ August 26 2012, 7:34 PM BST

I lost my love of writing for a while so it feels good to put stuff up again.

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Welcome back by the way.

I know what you mean Ishy but if I expanded it I would rather plumb the depths of an intolerant assassin who continually shoots other people as oppose to his real targets.
Thanks for the welcome back as well!

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ August 27 2012, 6:44 AM BST

I know what you mean Ishy but if I expanded it I would rather plumb the depths of an intolerant assassin who continually shoots other people as oppose to his real targets.

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You could eventually bring in a laser sight visual gag. Say, have a bloke in a clothes shops picking ties. As he reaches for the wrong one the sight lands on him. The sight could even move to a different tie in the shop with the bloke eventually nodding to the assasin as thanks.

I may well be talking rubbish though

Ishy I have to admit that I have a weakness for sniper scope capers so I may well expand.

The red dot I would use for more modern type scenarios as I think the traditional cross hairs have a certain je ne sais quoi"

Quote: Ishy @ August 27 2012, 9:07 AM BST

You could eventually bring in a laser sight visual gag. Say, have a bloke in a clothes shops picking ties. As he reaches for the wrong one the sight lands on him. The sight could even move to a different tie in the shop with the bloke eventually nodding to the assasin as thanks.

I may well be talking rubbish though

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That's a great idea Ishy, not talking rubbish at all in my opinion. Made me laugh.

Teddy, I think you have a great imagination and the sniper idea is ripe with possibilities. I would have gone with some annoying twat talking loudly on his/her mobile.

I'm slowly working my way through your prolific offerings and enjoying them.

Or maybe the intended target could be walking about, intermittently being revealed with the sight following. Then as it follows the target once more it pans across a man who is picking his nose. The sight doesn't continue to the intended target but back to the nose picker. It then moves back to the "target" who is now still. The sight stays on the 'target' briefly and whlie it does begins to wobble slightly. Then it quickly reverts to the nose picker and pop!

So many variations.

You're helping me to get back to the paper/screen Teddy so kudos to you.

Same here Gary its nice to be writing again.
I'm off at four so I'll have a go at putting some stuff up, why don't you have a go as well I'll offer comment or two.