New Sketch

I could have loved you Brian

EXTERIOR- BUSY PUB GARDEN-DAY

OPEN ON:

Two men and one woman sit at a table, having a loud, drunken conversation. Woman gets up to leave.

HUSBAND

Shut it and sit down…you’re pissed.

(Wife sits)

BRIAN

Calm down please. You’re both happily married!

WIFE

Oh yeah? He’s nothing to me Brian, nothing!
And he never was. He’s not half the man you are. It’s you I’ve always wanted Brian…YOU! Oh, the things I could do for you, the things we could have together.

BRIAN

Please don’t be stupid.

WIFE

I don’t care anymore, if you want me to beg I will…

(Stands and proclaims to the whole garden)

…I want the world to know, I do not love my husband! I cannot live any longer!

(Points at Brian)

I love Brian and I want him, no matter the cost. So what do you say, eh? Will you have me? Oh I could have loved you Brian. Just say the word, it’s never too late…please…say something, anything…BRIAN!

(BEAT)

BRIAN

Look! For the last time…my name’s not f**king Brian!

lol. nice one.

Joke would work better on paper if you changed 'BRIAN' to MAN as his script name. You should probably go straight to the speech, make it longer e.g. Brian i've known you for ten years etc, and cut the bits before.

Good and funny idea though

very funny, made me splutter my morning tea over my lap.

Maybe end with Brian storming off, hand in hand, with the husband. if you filmed it I'd add that as you can always edit out.

Or you could have third man sat there, and at the end he goes

- Er, I'm Brian

Then another bloke pops up: 'No, I'm Brian', then another, then another etc

In the end the pub has 50 men claiming to be Brian.

Sort of imagining Brian as a modern day Sparticus

Yeah, good shout. Actually had him down on original script as 'MAN'; but then changed it at the last minute.

Quote: Nick Rivers @ February 17, 2007, 12:29 PM

Maybe end with Brian storming off, hand in hand, with the husband. if you filmed it I'd add that as you can always edit out.

View original

Cheers Nick like this idea.

Quote: Ginger Jesus @ February 17, 2007, 12:52 PM

Or you could have third man sat there, and at the end he goes

- Er, I'm Brian

View original

This is my favourite ending. Nice, neat, clever, funny.

I love the ending Ginger Jesus suggested- otherwise I think it has great potential

Hehe -- funny.

Like GJ's idea, maybe the next door neighbour popping his head over the fence proclaiming he's Brian. Or maybe even the next door neighbour's wife starts beating him up shouting 'Brian! What's going on!?' etc etc.

btw I disagree with ajp: I *like* the fact that he's 'Brian' in the script and then suddenly not, as it adds the surprise (for a written sketch, obviously!) But that's just my opinion.

Dan