British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 4,773

Quote: zooo @ August 23 2012, 9:59 PM BST

Aw. :(
Well at least you didn't also get 'sploded.

Yes, that was nice. I would've probably been dead if I had.

Yo! Will Cam is back from his trip to Wales. What a stunningly beautiful country. Anyone died since I've been away?

Fox has shat on the patio as a thankyou for his dinner.

Quote: sootyj @ August 12 2012, 11:07 AM BST

OUR WILL CAM IS SITTING ON A HILLSIDE IN WALES IN THE RAIN WITH SWIFTY SOOTYJ

BEHIND HIM IS A TENT (WRITTEN ON THE SIDE "UN tent for Somali Orphans call 0800 if Will Cam's knicked it)

MRS OUR WILL CAM (OOV IN TENT)
Why did we have to come to bloody Wales our Will Cam?

OUR WILL CAM
It's our ruddy holiday.

MRS OUR WILL CAM
It's cold, everyone's on t'dole and the only running water is thou ceaseless blasted rain. We might 'ave well stayed oop north!

OUR WILL CAM
It's not so bad woman

MRS OUR WILL CAM
It bloody is, a sheep bit me couldn't we have stopped off in London and seen the Olympic Village? Its got flush toilets, indoors.

OUR WILL CAM
No!

MRS OUR WILL CAM
But why did we come here Our Will Cam?

THE CLOUDS PART, SUN COMES OUT AND SONG BIRDS FILL THE SKY AND DEER FROLICK

THE LOVELY HARRIDAN COMES UP THE HILL SINGING

"The hills are alive with the sound of music!"

OUR WILL CAM SPITS OUT HIS TAB AND HIS FLAT CAP FLYS OFF HIS HEAD AND SPINS ROUND WHILST STEAMS COMES OUT OF HIS EARS

OUR WILL CAM
Eee champion, I had me reasons.

SOOTYJ
Turned out shit again

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud What a return treat!

Quote: Nil Putters @ August 23 2012, 9:48 PM BST

I was PAT testing (look it up, if you want) and connected something to the PAT tester incorrectly, f**king that shit up. There was a very loud bang (at which point I dropped the tester and jumped a mile) and a burning smell from inside the kit.

I bothered to look it up, and I too am glad that you're not dead Winsome Nil

Quote: Ben @ August 23 2012, 9:49 PM BST

I need to go to the supermarket and get something. This is a bit irritating as it's a half hour round trip. Perhaps.

Wadyja get? Wadyja get?

Quote: Will Cam @ August 23 2012, 11:36 PM BST

Yo! Will Cam is back from his trip to Wales. What a stunningly beautiful country. Anyone died since I've been away?

Wave ('Hello to Will Cam' wave, not 'I'm dead' wave)

:) Ta.

Quote: AJGO @ August 24 2012, 12:30 AM BST

Wadyja get? Wadyja get?

Only two things should get a chap going to a supermarket at that time of night, johnnies or beer.

Or both . .

:( Me washer has packed in! no spin? all wet, so been wringing out all night and finding suitable drip places! Holiday or washer- holiday or washer? BAH! >_<

Quote: dellas @ August 24 2012, 5:28 AM BST

:( Me washer has packed in! no spin? all wet, so been wringing out all night and finding suitable drip places! Holiday or washer- holiday or washer? BAH! >_<

Before you do anything - check the filter.
A blocked filter or jammed pump will stop a washer from spinning.

The filter is usually found behind the front bottom kick panel.

It has a big slot in it to help you unscrew it.

Pull out all the fluff and coins that have gathered there and pound coins that might be jamming the pump impeller and it just might magically work again.

Ooops I said 'front bottom' I meant the front, bottom, kick panel

:) Ta Steven will undoe and try that!

Waiting for the delivery of my OU course materials. I wasn't expecting them to come this week, but now that I know they're 'out for delivery' I am incredibly impatient to get my hands on them!

This is so true for me: http://xkcd.com/281/

Chip's shin skin feels a bit itchy today. He keeps wanting to give them a could scratch but won't.

Quote: chipolata @ August 24 2012, 11:17 AM BST

Chip's shin skin feels a bit itchy today. He keeps wanting to give them a could scratch but won't.

If your skin's dry put some moisturiser on, if it's not, cool it down with some frozen peas. If you really can't bear it give yourself a hard slap where it's itching and that'll satisfy your itchiness without damaging your skin.

Quote: Harridan @ August 24 2012, 11:22 AM BST

If your skin's dry put some moisturiser on, if it's not, cool it down with some frozen peas. If you really can't bear it give yourself a hard slap where it's itching and that'll satisfy your itchiness without damaging your skin.

I can't go slapping my shins in an office! I shall nip somewhere quiet in a moment and give them a good Vic Reeves style rub.

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