I don't think that Tony Scott's latest project: The Airbourne Legacy will make much of a splash.
Rewrite:
I think Tony Scott's latest project: The Airbourne Legacy will make a big splash.
KISS2: One-Liners Page 2
Despite being trapped in Ecuador's embassy, Julian Assange still has his finger on the pulse of current affairs – as he proved when calling for an end to the witch-hunt on the Pendle Witch Trials 400th anniversary.
(ref: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-19286741 and http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19310335 )
New research suggests that workers loathe Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays just as much as Mondays. The only bright spot is Friday. In an effort to counter balance this, scientists have already started writing lyrics to Rebecca Black's next song.
Prince Philip missed a Church service last week after spending a fourth night in hospital. Unfortunately this meant that the Church of England will have to be shut down as it was unable to pass its MOT.
A new study reveals that men would go without sex for a month to get their hands on the iPhone 5. I found this out by browsing the Internet on my iPhone 57.
(story ref: http://newslite.tv/2012/08/19/men-would-go-celibate-to-get-h.html)
Ecuador and Britain reach compromise. julian Assange to be tried in Croydon IKEA.
Conservative pressure groups worry over Mandela's failing health. He may soon be too old to hang.
Former Polly Peck tycoon Asil Nadir has been found guilty of four counts of theft by a jury at the Old Bailey. Nadir did his best to get off, but couldn't put the jury in his Polly Pocket.
A shop worker has been jailed for a bogus claim on 77-year-old woman’s £1m lottery win. He may still hit the jackpot as there’ll be people lining up to play with his bonus balls.
Greece is again meeting European heads to discuss it's debt crisis and is seeking 2 more years to reduce it's deficit, a request many describe as madness. But then it's been clear for years that the Greeks have lost their marbles.
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Lonmin's platinum mine's reopened with striking workers threatened with dismissal. A South African spokesman said “we've already shot strikers wit dese guns, and we're not afraid to use dat rocket or dis missil”
I can't see what the fuss is about Robert Pattison's affair. I mean they've all f**ked Bram Stoker.
Donations to British political parties fell by almost one million pounds in the second quarter of the year leading to fears we may not be able to support the high calibre of
No. Sorry – I can't finish that line for laughing... High calibre.
(ref: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-19319256 )
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Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt has promised that by 2015 the UK will have the fastest internet of any major European country. We won't actually have faster broadband than now, just that the expected collapse of the Euro may leave us as the only major European country.
(ref: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-19316824 )
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A 30 year old man who tried to con a 77 year old out of a lottery ticket that won 1 million pounds on June 22nd has been sentenced to over 2 years in prison. In order that's 2, 22, 30, 77 and 1 million and the sentence was set by Guinevere.
(ref: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-19318742 )
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Quote: Nil Putters @ August 19 2012, 11:19 AM BSTTulisa's back for the X-Factor? I thought she'd knocked it on the head.
Quote: Matt Fishwick @ August 20 2012, 12:11 PM BSTI don't think that Tony Scott's latest project: The Airbourne Legacy will make much of a splash.
Needs a slight rejig I think, but still a
Airport operator BAA has been forced to sell off Stansted airport in a bid to increase competition. The company plan to appeal, but if it fails I think the judge, Pontius Pilot, will nail them again.
New Welsh research shows Health Negligence payouts doubled in the past 3 years. If I'm not careful, one day I'll owe myself a lot of money.
(story ref: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-19324996)
In the US the number of newborns being circumcised is falling. The levels are now less than 50% in some states. For Dr Marvin Wang, co-director of the Newborn Nurseries at Massachusetts General Hospital, there are pros and cons to the procedure. “You are doing a procedure on someone who cannot make the decision,” he says. In a subsequent poll of newborns at Massachusetts General, if the decision were up to them, the babies would laugh at his surname.
(story ref: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19072761)
"There won’t be any cricket at the Paralympics, but there will be a lot of stumps."
"I've just heard about Prince Philip’s discharge... perhaps he ought to get himself checked out!"
"Asexuals now make up 1% of the population... which puts them at great risk of being Occupied!"
"Augusta's admitted its first female members... what a great day for transgender equality!"
"How can people say we get nothing out of the 'Special Relationship', when America's just taken Louise Mensch off our hands?"