Don't speak too soon.

A NEW EMPLOYEE IS HAVING A MEETING WITH THE BOSS.

Boss:
You seem to have settled in Ok Philip? I know that these lot can be a bit of a handful. The crazy gang I call them.

Phillip:
Haha yes, they seem a really nice lot. Very chatty & friendly.

Boss:
Now you mention it, I’m not really happy about all the chatting going on in the office, I think it needs to stop! And the sooner the better.

Phillip:
You're joking surely, a bit of chit chat in the office doesn't do any harm

Boss:
Oh sorry, you misunderstand me, I must have sounded so heartless just then. How funny.
No of course I don’t want everyone in the office to stop chatting, just you!

Phillip:
What? I’m the only person not allowed to talk?

Boss:
Of course you’re allowed to talk! As long as it’s exclusively about work, relevant to work at the time & it’s not enjoyable to you in any way apart from residual job satisfaction.

Phillip:
May I ask why?

Boss:
Is it work related?

Phillip:
Well of course it is!

Boss:
Ok then yes go ahead

Phillip:
Why?

Boss:
Because I want to hear what you have to say.

Phillip:
No I mean why am I the only person not allowed to partake in chit chat? Do you think I'm boring or something.

Boss:
Phillip, the fact that you are quite boring has very little to do with this. The thing is, that this company prides itself on our office banter.

Phillip:
I can learn to join in surely

Boss:
But we didn’t employ you for that, we employed you for your invoicing & filing skills and believe me you have those skills in abundance. Apart from your invoicing which I haven’t checked yet.

Phillip:
So I’m not allowed to partake in any banter whatsoever?

Boss:
Once you've passed the 5 year probation then who knows, but you don't want to ruin it though

Phillip:
Ruin it?

Boss:
Oh come on! You must have seen how good these guys are! Tim with his funnies, Sandras review of last nights telly, Maureens Journey in.

Phillip:
As fantastic as their banter might be, You can’t discriminate against someone just because they’re new, or their chit chat isn’t quite up to scratch. To be honest I think this is quite disgraceful! I feel like walking out right now..

Boss:
And miss Maureens story tomorrow?

Phillip:
You've got me over a barrell haven't you?

Sounds 'sarcy' like 'the Office', like a lot, would like Boss to be caught out!

I liked it. Good punch line.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ August 18 2012, 1:37 AM BST

Boss:
Of course you’re allowed to talk! As long as it’s exclusively about work, relevant to work at the time & it’s not enjoyable to you in any way apart from residual job satisfaction.

Phillip:
May I ask why?

Boss:
Is it work related?

Phillip:
Well of course it is!

Boss:
Ok then yes go ahead

View original

Really enjoyed this, the above lines in particular.

Was this a past skit comp entry?

Nice sketch, and a nice punch.

Yes, that's the part I really like as well...although I think the next 2 lineas are a gag too far.

It's a very funny sketch, for sure. I think it might work better if you took out the "settling into work" part at the start (there because this was written for Skit Comp? I forget), and just start with something along the lines of "I'm very concerned about the amount of chit chat in the office", or what have you.

Quote: gappy @ August 19 2012, 11:28 AM BST

Yes, that's the part I really like as well...although I think the next 2 lineas are a gag too far.

View original

I would agree with that.

I think you could maybe get into the sketch a bit more smoothly; nice premise though and clever punch.

Cheers all for reading
And thanks for the good feedback.

Quote: Ishy @ August 18 2012, 8:16 PM BST

Was this a past skit comp entry?

View original

I'm pretty sure it wasn't
But I have done a couple of officey ones recently I think.