My wife wants me to swing both ways..
..but my boyfriend's not so keen.
Absolute bloody GENIUS!! Page 6
My wife has no hose
Well how does she pipe?
Bloody loudly!.
Does this work?
# Barman, there's a fly in my cocktail
# Yes Madame, it's a Mohito...
Is this a mohito/mosquito gag? If so.. nearly.. but a noble effort. You can't win the lottery unless you buy a ticket and all that.. endeavour to persevere etc. etc.
My psychiatrist says I'm immature..
..but my Mummy doesn't think so.. 
Reminds me of a time long ago;
My partner had a small prick,
But it was itchy,
Time to Ditchy.
OH dear, had better one honest, forgot it, 
Quote: Stylee TingTing @ August 17 2012, 10:46 PM BSTIs this a mohito/mosquito gag? If so.. nearly.. but a noble effort. You can't win the lottery unless you buy a ticket and all that.. endeavour to persevere
Yes, I was a bit dubious. Thanks Stylee. I won't give up the day job just yet.
Quote: Nicky Liar @ August 17 2012, 4:37 PM BSTDoes this work?
# Barman, there's a fly in my cocktail
# Yes Madame, it's a Mohito...
Perhaps make the "Yes. Madam" a "Yeth, Madam" - indicating a cleft palette?
Thus making the joke funnier, and more offensive, at the same time!
Quote: Lazzard @ August 18 2012, 3:53 PM BSTPerhaps make the "Yes. Madam" a "Yeth, Madam" - indicating a cleft palette?
Thus making the joke funnier, and more offensive, at the same time!
That's a good angle, many thanks for taking the time
MAN SITTING AT TABLE IN CITY BAR. WAITER APPEARS WITH A MOHITO ON A TRAY. HE TRIPS AND SPILLS THE DRINK ALL OVER THE MAN'S LAP.
MAN: Waiter? There's a cocktail in my fly!
(Don't worry.. I won't give up the day job either).
Quote: Stylee TingTing @ August 18 2012, 8:14 PM BSTMAN SITTING AT TABLE IN CITY BAR. WAITER APPEARS WITH A MOHITO ON A TRAY. HE TRIPS AND SPILLS THE DRINK ALL OVER THE MAN'S LAP.
MAN: Waiter? There's a cocktail in my fly!
(Don't worry.. I won't give up the day job either).
Crazy bastard
MAN#1 My dog travels in ladies' underwear..
MAN#2 How does he sell?
MAN#1 Door-to-door.
# My pet spider likes to dress in unusual garb
# What's it wearing at the moment?
# A B cup underneath a waspie with flies undone
My Dads dog end has died,
How does it smell?
Like an ashtray.
better to be thought an idiot,
than where your football shirt and remove all doubt
just drove the new alpha bet
shit car but gets you from a to b
Quote: clifford allen @ August 18 2012, 10:45 PM BSTbetter to be thought an idiot,
than where your football shirt and remove all doubtjust drove the new alpha bet
shit car but gets you from a to b
Grammar!
The difference between knowing your shit
and knowing you're shit