British Comedy Guide

Quickies 2

RINGING
**********
INT DOCTORS SURGERY. A DOCTOR IS TALKING TO A PATIENT.

DOCTOR:
For the last time, you’ve not got tinnitus.

CAMERA PANS AROUND TO SHOW NODDY SITTING GLUMLY IN THE CHAIR

TIMING
********
INT HOUSE. A WOMAN PUTS SOME EGGS IN A PAN AND TURNS ON THE COOKER. SHE LOOKS AT HER WRISTWATCH ONLY TO FIND IT’S NOT WORKING. SHE THINKS FOR A FEW SECONDS, THEN HAS AN IDEA AND SHOUTS INTO THE LOUNGE.

WOMAN:
Steve? Fancy a shag?

GOLFING
***********
EXT GOLF COURSE. A MAN (BOB) IS LOOKING MISERABLE BEING TALKED AT BY ANOTHER MAN (RUPERT) WHO KEEPS INTERRUPTING HIM. RUPERT FINALLY WALKS OFF AND BOB SHOUTS ‘BORE’ AS A WARNING TO THE OTHER GOLFERS

SEARCHING
**************
EXT CAR. A MAN (PETE) IS IN A CAR WITH HIS WIFE (KAREN).

KAREN:
Look, there’s someone, stop and ask them.

PETE SIGHS, RELUCTANTLY STOPS AND WINDS DOWN THE WINDOW TO SPEAK TO AN MIDDLE AGED MAN (ERIC) AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

PETE:
Excuse me mate.

ERIC:
Yes.

PETE:
If you were lost, would you ask for directions?

ERIC:
Definitely not.

ERIC LEANS INTO THE CAR

ERIC:
What you want to do is head down this road for about a mile, argue that you’re going around in circles, have a massive row and then one of you say something you can never take back.

PETE:
Cheers mate.

1. Lovely - I would say 'haven't' rather than 'not' got - the flow seems better
2. Excellent. If it's not been done before that is brilliant.
3. Not so good
4. Great. But I would stop it at 'definitely not'- feels sharper

1 great
2 ancient
3 okish
4 very good maybe though neaten the flow a little?

1 great
2 ancient
3 okish
4 very good maybe though neaten the flow a little?

Quote: sootyj @ August 16 2012, 4:26 PM BST

1 great
2 ancient
3 okish
4 very good maybe though neaten the flow a little?

1 great
2 ancient
3 okish
4 very good maybe though neaten the flow a little?

Is No.2 ancient? Shame.
Perhaps I should get out more.

Yeh I've heard it before and it was on the Newstatesmen.

Sorry thus is the way of all good jokes.

But good stuff and good too see someone else flying the flag for the quickies.

Quote: Lazzard @ August 16 2012, 4:25 PM BST

1. Lovely - I would say 'haven't' rather than 'not' got - the flow seems better
2. Excellent. If it's not been done before that is brilliant.
3. Not so good
4. Great. But I would stop it at 'definitely not'- feels sharper

This.

Quote: Lazzard @ August 16 2012, 4:31 PM BST

Is No.2 ancient? Shame.
Perhaps I should get out more.

Also, this.

*laziest critique, ever.

Quote: Nil Putters @ August 16 2012, 4:35 PM BST

This.

Also, this.

*laziest critique, ever.

I don't know.
I though the 'also' was quite indulgent.

1 Great, just the thought of little Noddy, bless him!
2 Good, but I'd not heard it before though.
3 Didn't get but I'm no golfer Pleased
4 Liked it but felt the subject was a bit unoriginal.

Thanks everyone

Quote: sootyj @ August 16 2012, 4:26 PM BST

2 ancient

Sorry thus is the way of all good jokes.

Yeah there's always the risk these little one-liner gags have been done before. I try to Google these things beforehand but in this case I missed it.

Quote: Lazzard @ August 16 2012, 4:25 PM BST

1. Lovely - I would say 'haven't' rather than 'not' got - the flow seems better
4. Great. But I would stop it at 'definitely not'- feels sharper

Good points.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ August 16 2012, 4:54 PM BST

3 Didn't get but I'm no golfer Pleased

Me neither, it's a twist on the call of 'Fore' a golfer makes if he/she thinks they're going to hit someone with the ball. I was tempted to maybe just have a bloke walk into shot when the other Golfer shouted 'Bore' but I wasn't sure how to convey him being boring. Maybe just having him walk into shot looking sad.

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ August 16 2012, 7:06 PM BST

Not being a Noddy aficionado, I don't get that gag. The only thing I know about Noddy is the Big-Ears connection.. and that's only from an old gag that I can't remember anymore. Is that something to do with it? I was always a Twizzle man, myself.. plus Bill and Ben.. and Weed.

He's got a bell on his hat.

1. I think it's confusing because the audience thinks (big) ears, which isn't the joke. Well, this audience member did.

2. Is quite funny in an old-style way, which fits with it having been done before.

3. I don't think this works as it is. The bore/fore similarity/confusion isn't strong enough for me.

4. I like this a lot as long as it ends at the earlier point everyone else has said.

I liked the last one most of all. Perhaps to avoid confusion you could replace noddy with a town crier?

Quote: Badge @ August 16 2012, 7:41 PM BST

1. I think it's confusing because the audience thinks (big) ears, which isn't the joke. Well, this audience member did.

2. Is quite funny in an old-style way, which fits with it having been done before.

3. I don't think this works as it is. The bore/fore similarity/confusion isn't strong enough for me.

4. I like this a lot as long as it ends at the earlier point everyone else has said.

Quote: Nil Putters @ August 16 2012, 4:35 PM BST

This

*laziest critique, ever.

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