First Date

NT. RESTAURANT. NIGHT.

COLIN IS SAT AT A TABLE, NURSING A DRINK AND SELF-CONSCIOUSLY HOLDING A COPY OF THE GUARDIAN. HE NERVOUSLY STRAIGHTENS HIS COLLAR AND SMOOTHES DOWN HIS HAIR, GLANCING AT HIS WATCH.

HE IS APPROACHED BY CLAIRE.

CLAIRE
Colin?

COLIN
(STANDING) Claire! Lovely to meet you at last.

COLIN GOES TO SHAKE HER ON THE CHEEK, AS SHE PUTS OUT HER HAND TO SHAKE. THEY END UP AWKWARDLY HALF KISSING, HALF SHAKING. THEY SIT.

COLIN
Can I get you a drink?

COLIN CATCHES THE WAITER'S EYE.

CLAIRE
Thanks. (TO WAITER) A dry Martini please.

COLIN
This is a great place you chose.

CLAIRE
Yes, I like it. It is busy but quite intimate. My sort of place.

COLIN
Yes, mine too. I am sure we are going to have all sorts of things in common.

CLAIRE
Me too.

THE WAITER RETURNS WITH THE DRINK. THEY WAIT FOR HIM TO LEAVE.

COLIN
I've really been looking forward to meeting you.

THE ALARM ON CLAIRE'S WATCH RINGS. SHE TURNS IT OFF.

CLAIRE
Time's up.

CLAIRE PICKS UP HER GLASS, STANDS AND TURNS AWAY.

COLIN
What? What?

CLAIRE APPROACHES THE NEXT TABLE, WHERE A MAN IS SAT WEARING A LARGE PINK CARNATION.

CLAIRE
Steve?

THE SHOT OPENS UP TO SHOW THAT THE RESTAURANT IS FULL OF SINGLE MEN SAT ON THEIR OWN AT TABLES.

END.

I'm not sure I get this one, Timbo. I don't really know why Claire would have a string of very short dates lined up.

Quote: Ben @ July 30 2010, 11:18 PM BST

I'm not sure I get this one, Timbo. I don't really know why Claire would have a string of very short dates lined up.

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The gag was supposed to be that Colin thought he was a proper date, while Claire was treating it as speed dating. I guess if it needs to be explained it didn't work!

I did a search for sketches that I had not bothered to keep copies off, and found this one. Still makes me laugh. So sod the lot of you.

Wouldn't they all be wearing carnations or whatever?
Gets you there a bit quicker.

Good point; in my head they were but I should have made that explicit in the directions.

Was he really going to shake her cheek? Because that's the funniest bit. Keep that, it's a great image.

He is VERY nervous.

(Okay maybe I could have done just a tad more proof reading...)

I love the shakes the cheek bit! I think it's funny as we get the sense of bewilderment of the guy when she moves on so quick, though you maybe could have played up the interaction with them a bit to make it even more so.

I got it and liked it!

Quote: Tursiops @ August 14 2012, 3:14 PM BST

I did a search for sketches that I had not bothered to keep copies off, and found this one. Still makes me laugh. So sod the lot of you.

View original

I didn't understand what was happening until you explained it, but even so, I can't see what you're finding funny in their misunderstanding, sorry! I'd have had the misunderstanding apparent straight away, and then tried to mine it for humour. You've presented us with the pitface rather than the comedy gold within.

Its a yes from me. I liked the awkward cheek shake. Good stuff timbo

The twist worked for me, and the cheek-shaking is good!

>THE SHOT OPENS UP TO SHOW THAT THE RESTAURANT IS FULL OF SINGLE MEN SAT ON THEIR OWN AT TABLES.

EACH WEARING A DIFFERENT FLOWER