British Comedy Guide

Can parrots play chess?

A SCIENTIST IS STANDING IN A BIG LAB FULL OF FLASHING MACHINES AND OTHER SCIENTISTS
BEHIND HIM IS A PARROT SITTING ON A TABLE WITH A CHESS BOARD SET OUT ON IT

SCIENTIST
Can parrots play chess?

SCIENTIST SITS AT THE TABLE PARROT MOVES A CHESS PIECE, THEN THE SCIENTIST

AFTER FIVE MINUTES IT BECOMES APPARENT THE SCIENTIST IS ABOUT TO LOSE

PARROT GOES TO PICK UP A PIECE

SCIENTIST PICKS UP A DOUBLE BARRELED SHOTGUN

SCIENTIST SHOOTS PARROT WHICH EXPLODES IN A BALL OF FEATHERS AND BLOOD

SCIENTIST THEN SHOOTS THE PARROT'S CHESS PIECES CLEARING THEM OFF THE BOARD

SCIENTIST STANDS UP AND ONCE MORE ADRESSES THE CAMERA

PARROTS
Parrots can indeed play chess, they just can't win.

Good.

Image was good but the ending a little too predictable...

From a practical point of view...

Given that shotguns by law in the UK have to have a barrel length on 24 inches, you might have to rethink your weapon. Unless it's a really big chess board. An air pistol would work if you just want to shoot the parrot.

Antique blunderbus.

Good point, Bill. This would work and would also have big comedy plumes of smoke etc.

It's a special science shotgun

obviously

Nice, I'd have liked the parrot to say something though, being a parrot 'an all.

It was originally meant to be a gorilla.

He could have played the drums then, being a gorilla 'an all.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ August 10 2012, 9:13 PM BST

Nice, I'd have liked the parrot to say something though, being a parrot 'an all.

PARROT:
Mate in Three, Awwwwrk!

Like the idea behind this, not sure about the ending but not sure how I'd change it (great critique eh) How about making it one of a series of bird/game ideas? Can peacocks play poker. The peacock sees his hand and his plumage fully expands leading all other players to fold. Or can owls play hide and seek where the owls head spins around before the count has finished etc

I think the joke is entirely in the mean spirited "...but they can't win" xpressing the deep unfairness of animal experiments.

It rises or falls on that one simple line.

Ah ok, in which case my critique is even more useless. I won't waste your time with a suggestion involving Gorillas and Connect 4 :)

Like it. Good one Sooty.

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