British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 968

Quote: Marc P @ August 7 2012, 3:06 PM BST

I had a human bean burger last night, just to redress the balance. Very tasty it was too.

You monster!

I was hungry!

Quote: Marc P @ August 7 2012, 3:57 PM BST

He was from hungary!

thats alright then

Today is "Black Wednesday", the day in August when thousands of junior doctors begin work in hospital staff and many more change roles, resulting in a significant increase in the mortality of emergency patients

The Academy of Medical Royal Colleges chief executive Alastair Henderson admitted there was an issue and said that steps were being taken or considered including allowing new doctors to trail senior colleagues and staggering the changes.

Staggering the changes would mean the increase in mortality got spread around the year more evenly. Well that's OK then!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19080449

It's true...I used to be an undertaker.....well not actually an official one (the police stopped me)...however....I never had holidays in August for this very reason. The second Wednesday in August was always ringed in my calendar.

Undertakers don't need the changes to be staggered. With August being a relatively warm and, therefore, healthy month - not too many croak it, so - its a great time to spike up the old mortality rate.

I mean from November through to March we..err they (undertakers)..have enough stiffs to deal with - so August's spike keeps a lot of people in the death industry busy through the otherwise notoriously quiet summer months.

No - let's stick with August I say.

It would be an administrative disaster to stagger entry

actually with so many Muslim medics is there a spike around Ramadan with all those hungry medics?

Quote: sootyj @ August 8 2012, 11:07 AM BST

It would be an administrative disaster to stagger entry

actually with so many Muslim medics is there a spike around Ramadan with all those hungry medics?

and Muslim patients too?

Upside is - NHS catering bill subsides for a few weeks each year.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19169983

Very excited about this archaeological find, but freaking the f**k out at those police divers destroying it! Leave it alone! Stop cleaning the mud out, it's full of clues! Get that mechanical arm off that pottery! Oh god! They're worse than metal detectorists!

Get your scuba gear Bill Will your needed!

Quote: Harridan @ August 8 2012, 11:19 AM BST

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19169983

Very excited about this archaeological find, but freaking the f**k out at those police divers destroying it! Leave it alone! Stop cleaning the mud out, it's full of clues! Get that mechanical arm off that pottery! Oh god! They're worse than metal detectorists!

They do seem to be being reasonably careful.
Italy has good archaeologists. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8168425.stm
Lifting one pot (after recording its position) from many to show to the experts is fairly common practice in early stages of a wreck.
Don't know why they needed that grabber arm though in shallow water. More usual to roll a pot into a carrier like a net or crate to lift it.

In situations like that wafting away the mud is normal, using spot core samples to analyse the layers.

On the Mary Rose we used lift pumps to remove the surface mud and garden trowels to cut away vertical walls of mud in deeper sections in 'trenches' an inch at a time.

So there you are visiting Dunblane when you notice that a post box has been painted gold because Andy Murray won the Olympic tennis.

So you pick a bit of paint off to take home as a souvenir . . .

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-19179625

Some people shouldn't be allowed out of the house for their own safety.

Quote: Oldrocker @ August 9 2012, 3:39 PM BST

So there you are visiting Dunblane when you notice that a post box has been painted gold because Andy Murray won the Olympic tennis.

So you pick a bit of paint off to take home as a souvenir . . .

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-19179625

Some people shouldn't be allowed out of the house for their own safety.

Wasn't the Jessica Ennis post box in Sheffield vandalised within hours of it being painted by a 'tagger'?

From what I read, the evil, awful, horrific vandalism said 'Go Jess'...

Quote: zooo @ August 10 2012, 12:31 AM BST

From what I read, the evil, awful, horrific vandalism said 'Go Jess'...

Absolutely shocking! :O

It's the London Riots all over again. Though why would the vandal paint 'Go Jess' after she won the Gold? Surely that's a statement after the fact?

Either that or he was a massive Postman Pat fan.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ August 10 2012, 12:39 AM BST

Absolutely shocking! :O

It's the London Riots all over again. Though why would the vandal paint 'Go Jess' after she won the Gold? Surely that's a statement after the fact?

Either that or he was a massive Postman Pat fan.

Well said! In addition - definitely racist connotations as far as Im concerend too.

Jess' father is of Jamaican origin - so it appears to me that the imperative 'Go!' is telling Jess to leave Sheffield - obviously.

The police must be informed forthwith.

On the upside, Jess' father, Vinnie, is a painter and decorator - so can easily repair the vandalism - and make a small profit by doing so.

Every cloud has a golden lining don't you think?.....

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