Meant to put this is critique before I posted it to Skit Comp so that I could take the crits on board - but I ballsed it up - anyway, see what you think....
Career Prospects
Open on a wood-panneled office - school photos all over the wall - a cabinet full of sports trophies. A rather officious looking TUTOR sits behind a large oak desk.
A sign on the desk reads "Careers Master"
SFX: KNOCK- KNOCK
TUTOR: Enter
A posh looking 17 year -old boy enters wearing Eton coat-tails.
TUTOR: Ah! Jeremy Bartleby - Smythe, isn't it? Sit, sit...
Jeremy sits.
TUTOR: Now, this is all a bit of a formality, but, if the sweaty oiks at Ofsted want Careers
Advice on the curriculum - Careers Advice they shall bloody well get.
JEREMY: Quite, sir.
He consults his notes.
TUTOR: But looking at this I really can't see there being any problems. Your father's old
college are more than happy to take you - your monogrammed napkin awaits you
at the Bullingdon - then it's off to party HQ for a nice little safe seat and Bob's your
uncle. (looking at his notes again) Bob is your uncle isn't he, Bartleby Smythe?
JEREMY: Absolutely sir.
(pause)
It's just, I was thinking, maybe I didn't want to go that route.
TUTOR: Sorry - you've lost me?
JEREMY: I'm not sure I want to be a Tory MP.
The Tutor is flabbergasted.
TUTOR: But, but - all the work we've put in - the braying lessons, creative tax-management,
the sense of entitlement - and your accent is beyond reproach - even I can barely
understand it...
JEREMY: Yes, well I was actually thinking of getting a voice-coach - learn to drop the odd 'h'
(tries it out)
...'ere and vere.
TUTOR: My God - it's uncanny!
JEREMY: Thank-you , sir. I thought I might jettison the double barreled name, too - change it
to plain old Jerry Bartle - pretend to like soccer instead of rugger - drink tea out of a
mug.
TUTOR: Steady on!
JEREMY: You see, sir, my long term goal is to completely hide my background and blend in
with the ordinary working folk.
The Tutor begins to twig, smiles..
TUTOR: So, what you're telling me is you actually want to be....
JEREMY: A Labour MP - absolutely sir!
TUTOR: Well that's alright, then, you had me worried for a bit there - I thought you were going
to eschew the overblown lifestyle altogether...
JEREMY: But Sir, you do understand, that as a Socialist I'll have to dedicate myself to stamping
out the private school system with all its sickening privileges and outmoded values?
TUTOR: Of course (makes air-quotes) " Jerry" - but not until the kids are safely through
first though, eh?
JEREMY: Absolutely, sir.
