British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 962

Quote: Kenneth @ August 6 2012, 5:38 AM BST

Breakfast this morning was rolled oats with blueberry yoghurt and various tropical fruits.

Have you been shipwrecked or something? You're seriously trying to tell me that a cold breakfast made up of fermented lactose, seeds and mangos is better then a greasy sausage and egg McMuffin and hash browns? What do you do for dinner, put on a loincloth and spear a fish?

McDonalds will always win because it is a comfort food linked to your childhood, probably why it's the number one choice as a last meal for prisoners on death row in the States.

Quote: Nogget @ August 6 2012, 7:32 AM BST

You don't think drinking till dawn might have affected things?

No. I drank very heavily for many, many years. Two large fries, two Cheeseburgers and a Big Mac (or variations upon this) always tasted a bit unpleasant a few minutes after the last mouthful. After I massively curtailed my drinking, quit smoking and went a bit fitness crazy, I still suffered the same queasy sensation after eating McDonald's. Burger King's mushroom swiss bugers have the same effect.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ August 6 2012, 10:44 AM BST

Have you been shipwrecked or something? You're seriously trying to tell me that a cold breakfast made up of fermented lactose, seeds and mangos is better then a greasy sausage and egg McMuffin and hash browns? What do you do for dinner, put on a loincloth and spear a fish?

McDonalds will always win because it is a comfort food linked to your childhood, probably why it's the number one choice as a last meal for prisoners on death row in the States.

I thought that was KFC?

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ August 6 2012, 10:44 AM BST

Have you been shipwrecked or something? You're seriously trying to tell me that a cold breakfast made up of fermented lactose, seeds and mangos is better then a greasy sausage and egg McMuffin and hash browns? What do you do for dinner, put on a loincloth and spear a fish?

McDonalds will always win because it is a comfort food linked to your childhood, probably why it's the number one choice as a last meal for prisoners on death row in the States.

"As recommended by American Murderers"
Knocks "Lovin' it" into a cocked hat.

Quote: Lazzard @ August 6 2012, 10:48 AM BST

"As recommended by American Murderers"
Knocks "Lovin' it" into a cocked hat.

Laughing out loud

Quote: Harridan @ August 6 2012, 10:50 AM BST

Laughing out loud

And you know, the terrible thing is that it's the 'american' bit that would put me off the most.

Quote: Lazzard @ August 6 2012, 10:48 AM BST

"As recommended by American Murderers"
Knocks "Lovin' it" into a cocked hat.

Laughing out loud

Some photos of last meals here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/gallery/2012/apr/27/photography-death-row-last-meals

so the new Mars lander is tweeting.

how much trouble would I get in if I sent it a lurid, sexually violent death threat on twitter?

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ August 6 2012, 10:44 AM BST

You're seriously trying to tell me that a cold breakfast made up of fermented lactose, seeds and mangos is better then a greasy sausage and egg McMuffin and hash browns? What do you do for dinner, put on a loincloth and spear a fish?

McDonalds will always win because it is a comfort food linked to your childhood, probably why it's the number one choice as a last meal for prisoners on death row in the States.

Not just mangoes. Also papaya and rambutan. For dinner, until recently my Chinese flatmate would usually do the cooking but she has had to go back to her hometown to buy her way out of an arranged marriage. So now I usually put on a sarong and try to emulate the recipes she taught me. Or I can dine out, spoilt for choice among restaurants where a filling meal and two large bottles of beer can be had for the equivalent of less than a fiver. The notion of going to McDonald's is only appealing if I am totally smashed out of my skull, which I never am theseadays. But I can still be a good host to you when you come to visit. Splendid excursions await.

And McDonald's sure isn't linked to my childhood. When I started high school in Australia, most of my classmates were raving about it, as if it was something incredibly exciting and cool. So one day I ventured into the local McDonald's and had a burger, fries, Coke and sundae. Fries weren't bad but the burger was revolting. Soft pillowy bun and mushy contents. Sundae was good, in a sugary way. All the decor was nasty shitty plasticy. Nothing very cool or enjoyable about it.

Quote: sootyj @ August 6 2012, 11:11 AM BST

so the new Mars lander is tweeting.

how much trouble would I get in if I sent it a lurid, sexually violent death threat on twitter?

At midnight on the 12th of August a huge mass of luminous gas erupted from Mars
and sped towarts Earth...

Quote: Lazzard @ August 6 2012, 10:48 AM BST

Knocks "Lovin' it" into a cocked hat.

Can't recall whether I previously posted it here or not. Several years ago, upon leaving the pub one morning, I went to McDonald's for a pee and to order some muck. The chap cleaning the toilets had a 'crew' polo shirt with the slogan 'I'm Lovin It' emblazoned on the back. He certainly didn't look as if he was "lovin' it" as he mopped up someone's chunder or shit from the floor.

Quote: Nogget @ August 6 2012, 7:32 AM BST

You don't think drinking till dawn might have affected things?

:D

Quote: Kenneth @ August 6 2012, 11:27 AM BST

Can't recall whether I previously posted it here or not. Several years ago, upon leaving the pub one morning, I went to McDonald's for a pee and to order some muck. The chap cleaning the toilets had a 'crew' polo shirt with the slogan 'I'm Lovin It' emblazoned on the back. He certainly didn't look as if he was "lovin' it" as he mopped up someone's chunder or shit from the floor.

I spent just over a year in Sydney in the 80's.
They used to have these places called Milk Bars - sort of like a sandwich bar here.
Did amazing burgers.- freshly made.
It was the first time I ever had a burger with a slice of beetroot in it - f**king ace.
Still do it to this day (with home made ones)

The Kiwis do the beetroot thing with burgers, even in the big chains. Very odd.

Beetroot is fabulous with everything.

There's a posh burger chain in the UK who does a Kiwi burger with Beetroot, pineapple and fried egg.

Very nice if messy.

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