Nicky Liar
Sunday 5th August 2012 11:05pm [Edited]
672 posts
Considering your tender years it was a good effort and you have some good ideas.
You must know your material intimately, referring to notes means you're losing control. I also find, laughing at one's own jokes to be counter productive, but that's just me.
Some good observations re the porn story, this could be developed even more ie. every time you try to watch porn you have to close down adverts for Viagra, false Facebook requests from a local girl named 'Julie Juggs' with 2 mutual friends and automatic links to 'Live Jasmine'. Not that This has happened to me, I'm just guessing/ a friend told me about it.
In summary, know your stuff, get more experience and keep it up.
All the best.