Hi,
Would appreciate some feedback on my stand up which you can find here...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5h31ouEyT8
The third last and second last jokes are not too strong. They were new jokes which I threw in for the benefit of some people who had heard all the other stuff before.
Thank you.
Hi Manraj, you don't seem to have had much luck with feedback before on the BCG (we have all been a bit lazy lately). I liked your general style but the audio clip didn't really sell you as well as the video clip I watched. Liked your John bishop joke best, very funny.
Hi. Its odd but the audio set went a million times better than the video, it is just that the former was the feed from the microphone whereas the latter was a video taken from within the audience.
Glad you enjoyed it.
sorry couldn't hear it
I'm not saying anything for the first minute, just staring at various parts of the audience.
Got past that, computer has poor speakers.
But usually can hear stuff.
I thought it was funny, and I was impressed by the assured slowness of your delivery.
My only reservation would be that you echoed Stewart Lee a little bit too strongly at two points: 'Onions, yes?' and in the did he/didn't he attribution of the fake quote.
But that didn't spoil my enjoyment of it, and the audience seemed to respond really well to your style.
I only managed to listen to a few minutes of this before my power cut out. But what I heard I enjoyed, you seem pretty good at it. Although your deep voice seemed a bit too forced. I dunno, maybe that is your real voice? Will try to listen to more when I get the chance.
Haha, yes. It is my real voice. I had some major chest surgery in September which gave me a much more husky voice.
Quote: Alakazam @ July 28 2012, 10:18 PM BSTI thought it was funny, and I was impressed by the assured slowness of your delivery.
My only reservation would be that you echoed Stewart Lee a little bit too strongly at two points: 'Onions, yes?' and in the did he/didn't he attribution of the fake quote.
But that didn't spoil my enjoyment of it, and the audience seemed to respond really well to your style.
I'm really glad you said that. The David Cameron joke, I've been agonizing over whether it is too similar to Stewart Lee. I've decided that I take it in a different enough direction to his bit which is about being Jesus and is in the show 90s Comedian (he has other bits, but that is the only I can recall where it is the main crux of the joke). I'm really interested in what people think about that.
As for onions, I think that's just a simple misdirection joke (about them making you cry to the guy hanging himself) and never considered that as a Stewart Lee type joke before.
Thank you for the feedback.
The onion joke itself isn't like Lee, it was just the way you seemed to be checking if the audience had heard of onions.
You didn't say, "Onions, you've sin 'em?" or "Those onions that they have now," so I may be being hyper sensitive.
I quite liked it. I liked the 'hilarious true stories' best I think
It's excellent stuff. Yes, I think perhaps there is a little of Lee in there, stylistically rather than comedically (people have been wrong-footing audiences and inverting stand up tropes long before Stew started having a shot, so I don't think the jokes are too similar to be allowed).
The bit that screamed SL to me was the repetition of "Scouse comic John Bishop", this sort of pseudo-Homeric adjectinymic* formula is pure Lee - and in this case, I felt it detracted from the joke, by taking the focus away from the word "bishop".
But anyway, it's great stuff, well done.
*Not strictly a word.
Haha, the stand up nerd in me really wants to discuss this (so let me know if you don't). I never thought the "Liverpudlian comedian, John Bishop" was Stewart Lee, I just kept using things to describe him "Liverpudlian comic" or "John" so that the punchline could not be anticipated. I thought if I kept repeating "Bishop", people would see the joke coming whereas if you give them a bit a mental-gap to travel, they'd laugh.
Yeah, fair enough. But it's the precise repetition that caught my ear. Forgive my inevitable misquotation, but when you say "I was sitting with Liverpudlian comedican John Bishop...and he said 'As Liverpudlian comedian John Bishop'...", it just really reminded me of SL.
It's the way you talk as if it were a sort of honorific or title.
Anyway, I think it's a very funny set regardless.