The grumpy executioner and his cheerful aide

INT DAY A GRIM ENGLISH EXECUTION CHAMBER

A HOODED MAN STANDS ON THE GALLOWS A NOOSE ABOUT HIS NECK, ON EITHER SIDE STANDS THE GRUMPY EXECUTIONER AND HIS CHEERFUL AIDE

EXECUTIONER
You have been found guilty by a jury of your peers and sentenced to death. Do you...

CHEERFUL AIDE
Hurry up! Hurry up!

CHEERFUL AIDEIS LOOKING AT A STOP WATCH

EXECUTIONER
I beg your pardon?

CHEERFUL AIDE
Shut up and hurry up! Oh over 20 seconds we're not even getting the bronze.

MAN IN HOOD
We're in the olympic hanging team.

CHEERFUL AIDE
It's alright for you chief , but this is his only Olympics.

GRUMPY EXECUTIONER
This is the state taking a man's life, it's not running fast or dancing underwater. It's judicial murder you tit!

MAN IN HOOD
Yeh bronze is best we Brits can get; we're up against the Rwandans and the Cambodians.

CHEERFUL AIDE
Both sponsored by B&Q machetes. And you blew it you unpatriotic git.

GRUMPY EXECUTIONER PULLS LEVER
I've bloody well had enough.

MAN IN HOOD FALLS THROUGH TRAP DOOR

GRUMPY EXECUTIONER
Oooyah my carpal tunnel syndrome.

GRUMPY EXECUTIONER RUBS SOME DEEP HEAT INTO HIS HAND

CHEERFUL AIDE
Performance enhancing substances!

GRUMPY EXECUTIONER
I hate you so very much

I like it. Mostly, overly long though. You could do a reveal to show it's the hanging Olympics and cut the dialogue making it flow better.

Hmm tricky one, as the joke is that its a surprise reveal its an olympic event.

you say its oylmpic hanging team 6 lines in.

Yeah, I didn't get it?

All I could think about was is he good AIDS or bad AIDS?

Not being got by leevil is hi praise indeed

This a cool little topical idea. I do agree that it could be cut down a bit, not because it's not funny, just to make it tighter. It could end when MAN IN HOOD FALLS THROUGH TRAP DOOR and the sketch would still make sense.

Also, maybe it might be nice to have a slogan after the sponsored by B & Q machetes bit. As if the man in hood is legally obligated to state that phrase whenever B & Q are mention e.g 'B & Q proud sponsors of honour killings since 1969" (or something actually sport or country related)

Wow I need to get out more, I actually just wiki'd B & Q to get that date...

This is part of a sporadic runner.

Sort of inspired by Albert Pierrepoint Englands most celebrated hangman. I think they predate the film.

The idea being that each skit starts with the usual grim rituals of execution (with aritistic license there were no last words etc in the UK)
before suddenly being disturbed by his cheerful assisstant. Who usualy gangs up with the condemned against him.

In this case the 2 of them try to convince him that the hanging is in the olympics. It of course isn't.

It's an inherently ridiculous conceit.

Oh and thanks for all the feedback!

I don't get why the aide is cheerful. I assume he's meant to be like a trainer, but they're more determined and encouraging rather than cheerful. The ending kind of fizzles out too. However, I think an Olympic murder event could be a macabre work of genius if executed properly. Yes, that's right, I said executed.

Quote: sootyj @ July 28 2012, 5:12 PM BST

In this case the 2 of them try to convince him that the hanging is in the olympics. It of course isn't.

View original

Ahhh!

Quote: sootyj @ July 28 2012, 5:12 PM BST

In this case the 2 of them try to convince him that the hanging is in the olympics. It of course isn't.

View original

Why would they try and convince him of that though? I can't - to coin a phrase - see the point.

It's literally pathetic humour.

Where the humour comes from moving the profound or at least serious.

Too the ridiculous.

In this case the humour (though it would appear not to work for all) is based on the switch from the gravity of an execution, to an inherently foolish discussion about the olympics.