British Comedy Guide

General, General Thread Page 2,480

Quote: DaButt @ July 19 2012, 1:45 AM BST

The shattered remains of The Who have announced a U.S. tour at the end of the year and early in 2013. No shows in Texas, but I'm thinking about the one in Orlando because my ex-girlfriend moved there and she's been bugging me to visit. My folks are also nearby.

Tickets will probably be ridiculously expensive. :(

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2012/jul/19/who-quadrophenia-north-american-tour

Well I've learned something today.

I never knew there was a verb 'to wick'

Errr

Absorb or draw off (liquid) by capillary action: "these excellent socks will wick away the sweat".

Nat will be thrilled... :/

Quote: Oldrocker @ July 19 2012, 3:33 PM BST

Well I've learned something today.

I never knew there was a verb 'to wick'

Errr

Absorb or draw off (liquid) by capillary action: "these excellent socks will wick away the sweat".

Horses have 'wicking rugs' for after they've had a wash or got drenched (a regular occurrence round here recently).

Quote: Oldrocker @ July 19 2012, 3:33 PM BST

I never knew there was a verb 'to wick'

Pete Townshend's home is known as 'The Wick.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wick

Quote: Oldrocker @ July 19 2012, 3:33 PM BST

I never knew there was a verb 'to wick'

I think it's coming much more into parlance because of all the new wonder fabrics developed for sport trickling down into the civilian market.

Speaking of word-i-tude - was playing a fiendish online word game involving finding words out of random letters and tried to put in the word 'flate' - because we have 'inflate' and 'deflate' - but there is no such word! Dum, dum, dah!

Before you knew this, how would you have used it in a sentence?

"The balloon is flate."

"Inflate that balloon" - "For how long?" - "Until it is flate, stupid boy!"

Quote: Lee @ July 19 2012, 4:21 PM BST

Before you knew this, how would you have used it in a sentence?

"The balloon is flate."

"Inflate that balloon" - "For how long?" - "Until it is flate, stupid boy!"

I think that should be 'flated' in that case.
Huh?

Quote: Booo @ July 19 2012, 6:43 PM BST

I think that should be 'felated' in that case.
Huh?

Who's the lucky that?

Golden oldies.
==============

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave £10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, the Blonde.

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park to find the £10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.
Inside the bag was the following note....

Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!

=================================
There were three girls, a blonde, a brunette and a red head and they were at the doctors office because they had all become pregnant. As they were sitting there talking, the brunette said
"I'm going to have a boy because I was on top".

The red head said
"Well I am going to have a girl because I was on the bottom."

The blonde started crying hysterically and the other two girls asked
"What's wrong?"
The blonde said,
"Oh no I'm going to have puppies!"

==============================
You want political incorrectness?

An Indian goes to a trading post to buy some toilet rolls. The Trader says he has expensive rolls and cheap rolls. The Indian buys a month's supply of cheap rolls.

A month later he comes back for more and the Trader says "I suppose you want the cheap rolls again". "No" said the Indian "I don't want any more of that John Wayne paper". "John Wayne paper"? said the Trader "how come". The Indian said "its rough, its tough and it don't take no sh.t from no Indian"........

Quote: sootyj @ July 19 2012, 6:45 PM BST

Who's the lucky that?

Depends on the performer, might be shit at it.

Quote: Lee @ July 19 2012, 4:21 PM BST

Before you knew this, how would you have used it in a sentence?

"The balloon is flate."

Sounds right, the present tense for something that is already inflated. Bit like saying the balloon is full to capacity and cannot be further inflated.

A conversation from work:

'I can't wait for this Saturday!'
'Oh, what are you doing?'
'The Olympic torch is going past near my house, we're going to go and watch.'
'So did you try and get tickets for anything?'
'No, I'm not interested in the Olympics'

And all around, heads exploded.

Quote: billwill @ July 19 2012, 6:49 PM BST

"Oh no I'm going to have puppies!"

:D

Perfect pub joke that one. It's going in the joke book.

Did Bill just make a bestiality joke...?

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