British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,033

When I was recently in a train station, a familiar voice came over the Tannoy (Public Address system). "Hello, folks. Boris Johnson here. I'm going to tell you something that is gonna piss you off, but because I'm such a loveable goon, hopefully the jolliness of my voice will distract you from the real news and you won't be too angry, pip pip!".

I suppose it sums up his whole Mayorshipnessness!

Political post #14 from Lee.

Next one scheduled for 2013 when a new MP has a funny name.

The local council have decided to redo the local playground (the only playground for miles) which will take them 2 months to complete. What time of year would best to do this, I wonder? How about exactly when the kids break up from school for the summer? Kids hate going to the park in the summer! Parents can take their kids to museums and other attractions in London this summer. I hope there isn't a major event on for the next month and half that will make London travel a living hell... Bloody idiots.

Quote: Nogget @ July 16 2012, 12:57 PM BST

On 28th and 29th July a lot of London will be closed, roads and rail. Maybe people are expected to levitate.

Yep. Only a few million of you shouldn't cause many problems.

In about 2 years the G20 summit is to be held in Brisbane. The venue where the summit will be held has a train line and bus line literally running beside it, they are talking about shutting both down during the summit. Then the hotels they will be staying at are most likely on the other side of the river so they will proberly shut most of that area down as well.

There seems to be a certain degree of municipal global arrogance.

Parks are generally donated by philanthropists and maintained by local taxes or charity.

Transport links are pretty much funded by taxes at a local level for local people and visitors

Where do councils, mayors etc get off restricting access to these faccilities?

And it's not even like anyone wants a terror/riot magnet like G20.

The sense of dislocation between government and populace seems to grow every day.

:D What if you wanted to bomb/assassinate people BEFORE 'The Games'- apparently easy??...

Shit, dellas. Careful what you say! This site will be closed down quicker than DaButt to a BBQ.

TTPYO: The way that all clothing shops only have sizes for tiny little stick men with frikkin girl feet.

Spent most of today trying to buy a pair of trainers in size 12, but was hit with the usual set of excuses. What kind of microscopically puny midget men wear size 6 trainers and why are there so many of them in the shops?

We really have to stop weeny people from mating with each other, it's holding us back as a species.

http://www.jacamo.co.uk/shop/

Quote: Lee @ July 16 2012, 3:32 PM BST

http://www.jacamo.co.uk/shop/

Just had a look on there - did you see how much they're charging for trainers?! What a total and utter rip off.

Managed to get a pair of half decent Nikes in Sports Direct in Oxford Street for only 30 squids. But it did mean travelling on a packed tube and walking a tourist filled hell street in the rain.

Renegade TK Maxx

Sell all the best brands, in freakish sizes as low low prices

they're where I buy most of my shoes.

(And I between a 11.5 and a 12)

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 16 2012, 3:43 PM BST

Just had a look on there - did you see how much they're charging for trainers?! What a total and utter rip off.

Managed to get a pair of half decent Nikes in Sports Direct in Oxford Street for only 30 squids. But it did mean travelling on a packed tube and walking a tourist filled hell street in the rain.

Well it was both a piss-take link and a helpful one. But you're welcome either way.

Quote: sootyj @ July 16 2012, 3:45 PM BST

Renegade TK Maxx

I was tempted to go to TK Maxx but realised I hadn't had my TB booster shot.

Quote: Lee @ July 16 2012, 3:47 PM BST

But you're welcome either way.

Has your membership to the Lollypop Guild been accepted yet Lee-tle?

Quote: sootyj @ July 16 2012, 3:45 PM BST

TK Maxx

Every time I went in one of those, clothes were just dumped all over the floor. The ones on rails were dirty and damaged. And some of them look like they were donated by Timmy Mallett and Noel Edmound's dirty love child. Seriously, random shit sown into jumpers like hooks and bells. WTF.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 16 2012, 3:48 PM BST

Has your membership to the Lollypop Guild been accepted yet Lee-tle?

I'm one of these over 6ft men. So, no. Unless you're talking about that other lollypop Guild created by the fellatio-loving tribe of sexy ass bitches? Which is also a no :(

Quote: Lee @ July 16 2012, 3:53 PM BST

I'm one of these over 6ft men. So, no.

Then welcome to the club fellow tall person. For some reason, I always imagined you as a tiny little monkey man - I wonder how that thought popped into my mind?

Whistling nnocently

Well from Doc Martins to Caterpillar boots my shoes have been of new condition and purchased at half price.

And most importantly in sizes to fit my feet that ressemble jumbo jacket potatoes.

So mock me if you wish. But the shoes are mine.

You can have the boxes they came in if you so wish Renegade.

Quote: Lee @ July 16 2012, 3:53 PM BST

Every time I went in one of those, clothes were just dumped all over the floor. The ones on rails were dirty and damaged. And some of them look like they were donated by Timmy Mallett and Noel Edmound's dirty love child. Seriously, random shit sown into jumpers like hooks and bells. WTF.

Thats because you live in the north.

I visited the north once.

Some one had taken a shit in a phonebox.

So I left.

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