Topical Sketch...

Well I've decided to try another topical sketch, seeing as I managed to sell my last one. I'm not sure that it has a strong enough ending for NewsRevue, but here it is:

Int. George Bush's office.

George Bush is sat at his desk. Gordon Brown is sat opposite him.

George: So, what's the news from the UK, Brown?

Gordon: Well, rather embarassingly, one of our ministers - Peter Hain - has had to resign.

George: Oh yeah? Why's that?

Gordon: He.....well, he forgot something.

George: He had to resign because he forgot something? Goddamn, I forget things every day. Good thing I'm not in your government, eh?!

Gordon: You can say that again.

George: Say what?

Gordon: About the....oh don't worry. Now, I believe you wanted me here to discuss your final year in office.

George: I most certainly did, Tony.

Gordon: (SIGHS) Look, we've been through this before. I'm not Tony. I'm Gordon.

George extends his hand to Gordon.

George: Hi, I'm George!

Gordon starts shaking George's hand.

Gordon: Yes, I'm well aware of that. We have met several times before. At lunchtime for example.

George performs a pistol action with his fingers.

George: I got yer! You're Gordon and I'm George! And together we rule the world!

Gordon: Yes, so, about your final year in office....

George: JELLO!

Gordon: I'm sorry?

George: Great big bowls of Jello!

Gordon: Pardon?

George: At my leaving party. There's going to be bowls of Jello for everyone. I like Jello. I like it a lot.

Gordon: Look, I wanted to talk about more pressing issues.

George: Y'know, I remember that Tony and I would often share a nice bowl of Jello......

Gordon: GEORGE! Stop talking about Jello! There's the threat of global recession, the threat of the middle east and the threat of a woman in The White House. Can't you see what I'm trying to get at?!

George: I think I can. I think I can, Tony.

Gordon: GORDON!

George: Ok, Ok! I think I understand.

Gordon: Do you?

George: Of course. What you're trying to say is...is that....is that....

Gordon: I'm waiting.

George: is that you're.... NOT A JELLO MAN!

Gordon headbutts the desk.

END

Very good, I can imagine that actually happening and that being the sort of relationship they have.

Well I think you've found your forte, mate

Another excellent sketch.
I liked the ending but I agree it could be a little stronger.
I would suggest something, but satire for me means renting a navigation system

Strengthen that somehow and I would seriously send this one off and be confident about it because it's very good.

I think if anything needs strengthening it's the last three lines, but don't you dare touch anything else. Don't you dare, I'll find you if you do.

I laughed at it - but it could be worked on still.

Yes all in all a great sketch. Could'nt hurt to change the last few lines but I still say it is fine as is.

Quote: Winterlight @ January 25, 2008, 4:15 PM

Gordon: GEORGE! Stop talking about Jello! There's the threat of global recession, the threat of the middle east and the threat of a woman in The White House. Can't you see what I'm trying to get at?!

View original

I would re-start from here. Make something out of one or more things from the list of 3 threats.

I like it winter, some thought which to be fair are admittedly a bit poo.( You'll see the pun later.)

After reading all I could think of was
A) I'm not Tony, I'm Gordon. BUSH: 'This isn't your gin is it?'

B) I'm not Tony, I'm Gordon. BUSH: 'I hope this isn't the end of our Special relationship? BROWN: 'Of course not!' BUSH: 'So you take it up the ass as well then?

I know, sorry.

Well I changed the ending. I quite like it and I think it's keeping with the kind of thing that NewsRevue like. I guess it's a case of writing for an audience. I sent both versions off, so I'll just have to wait and see. Oh and here's the ending:

Gordon: GEORGE! Stop talking about Jello! There's the threat of global recession, the threat of the middle east and the threat of a woman in The White House.

George: A woman?

Gordon: Yes.

George: Y’know, back in my college days I once watched two women wrestle in Jello.

Gordon: I saw a similar thing the other week actually, but I’d rather not talk about it.

George: Why ever not? It’s the most beautiful thing a man can hope to see.

Gordon: Hmmph, you’ve obviously never met Trinny and Susanna

END

Quote: Winterlight @ January 26, 2008, 10:12 PM

George: A woman?

Gordon: Yes.

George: Y’know, back in my college days I once watched two women wrestle in Jello.

Gordon: I saw a similar thing the other week actually, but I’d rather not talk about it.

George: Why ever not? It’s the most beautiful thing a man can hope to see.

Gordon: Hmmph, you’ve obviously never met Trinny and Susanna

END

View original

That's just the ticket!!
Wishing you luck mate though I don't think you'll need it.