Mod Archery

Very short sketch...

INT - NEWSROOM
NEWSREADER
... and we'll be bringing you more on the tragic death of Jimmy Carr as the story unfolds... In other news, there have been twelve fatalities at Brighton's Mod Archery Festival. This follows the ten deaths at last year's inaugural event. A spokesman for the event organisers defended the decision to go ahead this year...

CUT TO EXT. MAN WEARING CLASSIC MOD 'TARGET' T-SHIRT

MOD T-SHIRT MAN
Following on from the tragic events at last year's event, we undertook a thorough and wide-ranging health and safety review, which failed to pinpoint any single over-riding cause for the ten fatalities. We went into this year's event fully confident that there would be no repeat of the tragedies last year and we are as shocked, saddened and baffled as everyone else by yesterday's horrendous scenes. We will of course be co-operating fully with the ongoing police enquiry...

CUT TO INT. NEWSROOM

NEWSREADER
And now it's over to Fat Janice for a look at today's weather...

THE END

It's a witty idea, but the joke is over the moment we see the man wearing the target t-shirt. Everything after that is superfluous.

Yeah - good point. Thanks. Would probably work better as a spoof headline-type thing a la The Day Today: "Carnage at Mod Archery Festival was accident waiting to happen, say Police" and cut to someone with an arrow in their chest being worked on... Thanks for commenting.

Quote: Sockupuss @ July 14 2012, 5:51 PM BST

Very short sketch...

INT - NEWSROOM
NEWSREADER
... and we'll be bringing you more on the tragic death of Jimmy Carr as the story unfolds... In other news, there have been twelve fatalities at Brighton's Mod Archery Festival. This follows the ten deaths at last year's inaugural event. A spokesman for the event organisers defended the decision to go ahead this year...

CUT TO EXT. MAN WEARING CLASSIC MOD 'TARGET' T-SHIRT

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Good idea, but the above is all that's needed here like Ben said.

I quit enjoyed the hammering home of the point, but I don't think you would get it on a topical show...

Quote: Tursiops @ July 18 2012, 6:06 PM BST

I quit enjoyed the hammering home of the point, but I don't think you would get it on a topical show...

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Maybe The Archers?

I also enjoyed the 'officalness' of the dialogue after the shirt reveal.

Perhaps instead of cutting to a guy wearing the target mod t -shirt. You could go to a suited guy (make it look like a video link up interview) and have a big crowd who attended the event in the target shirts walking behind. I think the audience could join the dots for themselves.

You could even have an arrow hitting one of them in the background when the guy says they're not sure of the reason for the fatalities.

Hello. Thanks for all the feedback. As a newcomer to the site, I think perhaps my earlier comment found me a little over-eager to prove I could take the views of others on board (no bad thing). On reflection, I would disagree that everything that follows the 'reveal' of the target t-shirt is 'superfluous'. This is indeed the moment that an audience 'get' the joke but for me the real humour of the bit lies in the complete inability of the spokesperson (shared, presumably by the police and media) to understand what might have caused the tragedy when said cause is staring the audience in the face... Delivery would all need to be ultra-naturalistic and deadpan...

Quote: Sockupuss @ July 19 2012, 9:20 AM BST

for me the real humour of the bit lies in the complete inability of the spokesperson to understand what might have caused the tragedy

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Yeah but you can just cut to them saying 'frankly, we're baffled' or something short like that. It shouldn't go on for 5 lines. Alternatively keep it as long as it is but move the reveal to after that.

No the laboured repetition of the incomprehension after the reveal is what makes it funny.

You could have him dressed with a windcheater but lettering showing on the front of his T-shirt " M.O.D. Archery Competition" while he makes that speech & then he attempts to demonstrate archery; ideally you want that outdoors with sight past him to a real stuffed archery target with roundels, then he takes off jacket to reveal roundels on the back of his shirt.

I'm warming to the longer approach now. Maybe with lots of people walking round with mod targets on in the background to compound the humour further.

To make it a goulish joke, you could have him fall forward at the end of his speech to reveal an arrow in the roundels on his back.

I think the Eton Rifles should subvert the ending.

Quote: Marc P @ July 22 2012, 10:29 PM BST

I think the Eton Rifles should subvert the ending.

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Now that's entertainment.