This is me doing stand up at an open mic, after 6 weeks. It's an audio recording. I don't have a video. I've been doing it for 3.5 months now, but this is the only recording I have, otherwise I'd post something more recent. I've grown since doing this set, but I still feel this was a good one. If you're not willing to listen to the whole 7 minutes then don't waste my time with a critique. Let the insults and bashing begin! If you like it follow me @justindancomedy here it is
I'll come to an understanding with you then. You don't want me to waste your time and you won't waste mine.
I admire you and anybody brave enough to walk on a stage alone and try to make people laugh. I could never do it!
But, your material does not appeal to me and that's the best I can say on the subject.
So that'd you killing the audience?
Judging on audience reaction alone by the 4 minute mark.
You could do worse than ask here for some guidance on how to be funnier and more succesful.
That said I approve of your confidence in keeping plugging on with what is clearly a very cold audience.
For what it's worth the main issue is your jokes are way to spaced out. And you've got too much build up to your punchlines.
I think if you gave your routine some more linking gags and more of an overall narrative it could work better.
And finally your approach is quite understated and avuncular, but your material is quite offensive. No reasons that shouldn't work.
But you need to explain it a bit more.
But definitely you need 20-30 more solid jokes spread through out.
I mean thinking on it take the first half.
Here's some quick linking lines that just occured to me.
Super obese? That's kinda an ironic term, like a really shitty superhero.
Super obese men just ate Lex Luthor or "is it a bird, is it a plane holy shit he's about to land on me!"
or
I saw this super obese guy. And my first thought was is there a sequel to Moby Dick? because I just saw the star going into burger king.
I think I agree with Sooty - your warm, anecdotal style is nicely pitched, and it clearly connected with a rather reserved crowd, so good work, but I think you need to pepper the anecdotes with jokes, lines, phrases. They don't have to be cheesy capital J jokes, but a honed funny line dropped every now and then would work wonders.
I'd also say that, again as Sooty noted, some of the more cutting material sits oddly with the delivery. I'm not sure I should admit it, but I smiled at "you shouldn't be allowed to wear normal people clothes", but unless you build your act around a tone of (ironic?) attack, lines like this feel clunky. You might be able to create a dark, misogynistic stand up character - but it'd take balls!
In short, I didn;t really find that funny, but there are positive elements.
PS I know nothing about stand up, and have never done it 
Quote: sootyj @ July 12 2012, 5:43 PM BSTSo that'd you killing the audience?
I didn't say that was killing an audience, but after the first three minutes I become confident and the laughs build. If you listened to the whole thing you will see that certain parts illicit huge laughs. I'm sorry, but when you have to pause so as to avoid stepping on laughter you're obviously doing something right. If you don't think it's funny and have feedback fine. Don't be daft and say the people on that recording don't think it's funny. Give me a break.
Judging on audience reaction alone by the 4 minute mark.
The audience reaction was people laughing.
Did you listen to the recording I posted, or are you talking about some thing else?You could do worse than ask here for some guidance on how to be funnier and more succesful.
That said I approve of your confidence in keeping plugging on with what is clearly a very cold audience.
I felt like that was a hot crowd.
For what it's worth the main issue is your jokes are way to spaced out. And you've got too much build up to your punchlines.
I think if you gave your routine some more linking gags and more of an overall narrative it could work better.
And finally your approach is quite understated and avuncular, but your material is quite offensive. No reasons that shouldn't work.
But you need to explain it a bit more.
But definitely you need 20-30 more solid jokes spread through out.
I mean thinking on it take the first half.
Here's some quick linking lines that just occured to me.
Super obese? That's kinda an ironic term, like a really shitty superhero.
Super obese men just ate Lex Luthor or "is it a bird, is it a plane holy shit he's about to land on me!"or
I saw this super obese guy. And my first thought was is there a sequel to Moby Dick? because I just saw the star going into burger king.
I do appreciate the feedback. I will take it into consideration. I really posted that as a rebuttal to your claim in another thread that I wasn't funny. That recording shows that with the right audience I am funny to them. I do still like the feedback though and realize it's not for everyone. Posting this was also an experiment to see what the difference in sensibility is from here and across the pond. The audience on that recording obviously liked my jokes. Are you saying they didn't think I'm funny? I don't think any one could listen to that and say the audience wasn't enjoying it. I do appreciate your response and please don't take this as me not. You were very polite and I appreciate that. Apparently I come across as rude and impolite on here. That is not what I intend, but I don't know any other way to say what I'm saying. With all due respect: please forgive me if what I say seems ill-mannered.
If I did comedy in Oklahoma, it would probably be 6 weeks before I could stand up too.
I have done a fair amount of public-speaking, but to do it in a situation where it's known that the speech is solely intended to be funny, heaps pressure on a performer that I could barely imagine.
PS: I haven't actually watched it, because my gf is sleeping in the room, and I have no headphones. Will tomorrow.
Quote: Justin Dan @ July 12 2012, 6:34 PM BSTI do appreciate the feedback. I will take it into consideration. I really posted that as a rebuttal to your claim in another thread that I wasn't funny. That recording shows that with the right audience I am funny to them. I do still like the feedback though and realize it's not for everyone. Posting this was also an experiment to see what the difference in sensibility is from here and across the pond. The audience on that recording obviously liked my jokes. Are you saying they didn't think I'm funny? I don't think any one could listen to that and say the audience wasn't enjoying it. I do appreciate your response and please don't take this as me not. You were very polite and I appreciate that. Apparently I come across as rude and impolite on here. That is not what I intend, but I don't know any other way to say what I'm saying. With all due respect: please forgive me if what I say seems ill-mannered.
You got some warm laughter, but not a lot.
Don't sweat it I got the same laughter after 6 weeks. I've even got some horrible videos lying around YouTube and showcase.
But you're undercutting your performance badly. For example you've got no good intro joke.
Any decent standup has an intro joke. Something dead simple that lets them know you're a square guy and it's ok to laugh.
I'm kinda big and not to good looking so for ages I start with.
"I'm a stripper and a standup comic. Please laugh or I'll be embarassed and you'll be sorry."
Gets a few laughs, more importantly gets them on side.
I can see how some of you have accumulated so many postings. This forum has become addictive for me and far too much of a distraction. I can't be on here. Thanks for all the feedback and for the love of God some one vote for one of my jokes about cats, if not for anything other then the fact I was willing to subject my self to this.Good bye.
Justout?