It's the end of the world as we know it

Civilisation is coming to an end.

It was nice while it lasted, but well lets be honest its over. So before the Morlocks rise up from their underground citadels waving copies of Sun on Sunday. Let's recount the evidence that life, civilisation and all that jazz is screwed.

Sootyj first.

1 £10 scratch cards. Funding arts and sports by bilking petty gamblers is one thing. But £10 a scratchy?

2 Not observing a minutes silence for the Israeli athletes murdered at Munich. Because it might offend a few Arab dictatorships who are happily murdering their own citizens? I mean when did you last hear of a great Arab athlete?

3 British soldiers about to be made redundant being forced to check bags at the Olympics. Because with £400,000,000 and atleast ayear G4 can't do the job they're being paid to.

4. People keep eating other peoples' faces. :/

Yeh is that some kind of new diet? I went to prison for life, but it was worth it to lose 20lbs.

5. Britain's most talented person is a dog called Pudsey - who is coming out with an autobiography. (weirdly true)

6. Women are actively feeding foxes and deliberately starving themselves and both actions are purely based on physical looks.

7. I still haven't been banned by the BCG Moderators.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 11 2012, 11:10 PM BST

6. Women are actively feeding foxes and deliberately starving themselves and both actions are purely based on physical looks.

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Pssst! Some of us don't starve ourselves (though it might not be a bad idea).

8. Men are actively grooming young girls and raping old ladies and both actions are purely based on their poor bored little penises.

Quote: keewik @ July 11 2012, 11:22 PM BST

Pssst! Some of us don't starve ourselves (though it might not be a bad idea).

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It is always a bad idea to starve yourself. Eating healthily instead of demolishing an entire box of Celebrations (or in my case Milka Hazelnut bars) would be a sensible option.

But well off Western First Worlders deliberately starving themselves when so many people in the rest of the world go to bed hungry is uncool.

If only we could get the Africans to dress up as foxes, we could solve this whole starvation problem overnight.

Mmm, Milka Hazelnut, straight out of the fridge. Sorry I've forgotten what we were talking about.

Quote: zooo @ July 11 2012, 11:31 PM BST

8. Men are actively grooming young girls and raping old ladies and both actions are purely based on their poor bored little penises.

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Luckily my penis is never poor, bored or little. Now, if you'll excuse me, as an evil man, I'm off to have my weekly abortion.

Quote: zooo @ July 11 2012, 11:31 PM BST

8. Men are actively grooming young girls and raping old ladies and both actions are purely based on their poor bored little penises.

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Would it be worse if they were doing it passively?

Ask Renegade!

9 People who don't want to be married and view it as an outdated institution. Are demanding gay people should be married by people who don't want them to.

10 For £20,000 tourists can drive on roads we paid for but can't

11 Nobody earning more than 6 figures actually seems to pay tax anymore.

12-100

Quote: zooo @ July 11 2012, 11:45 PM BST

Ask Renegade!

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thats cheating

He started it.

Quote: zooo @ July 11 2012, 11:52 PM BST

He started it.

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Ooh, ooh, sir, sir?! Renegade started it sir, I saw him with both of my eyes. Ooh, ooh sir, sir?! Pick me, pick me. Pleeease sir, pleeeeeeeease.

You big girlie tattle tale.

*1 in 4 UK women is on a diet at any one time. Urban foxes have reached huge numbers and sizes because people are actively feeding them.*

Are you calling the other 3 out of 4 women fat?

You male chauvinist pig!

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 12 2012, 12:00 AM BST

Ooh, ooh, sir, sir?! Renegade started it sir, I saw him with both of my eyes. Ooh, ooh sir, sir?! Pick me, pick me. Pleeease sir, pleeeeeeeease.

You big girlie tattle tale.

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*1 in 4 UK women is on a diet at any one time. Urban foxes have reached huge numbers and sizes because people are actively feeding them.*

Ahh.

Quote: sootyj @ July 12 2012, 12:01 AM BST

Are you calling the other 3 out of 4 women fat?

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It was 3 out of 5 women, but they ate the other one.