British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 1,024

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 11 2012, 8:20 PM BST

TTPYO: Everyone who rode the Tube today, all of them, every man / woman jack of them. They should all die - but not on the Tube, as that would cause delays.

Why can't people respect my personal 'bubble'? What is it about boudaries that is so difficult to understand? All you have to do is stand a few inches away and not look at me, is that so difficult.

It's even worse when you're short like me. :( Armpit city.

Quote: KLRiley @ July 11 2012, 8:23 PM BST

Oooo arrr.

This is in addition to the drive! We did pay extra for the land and I' m. Bit put out that she thinks she has a right to trespass when ever she feels like it.
The bigger problem is that it's a cul de sac and tends to become a bit of a car park anyway. We try not to use the space during the day in case the people next to us have deliveries or it's bin day. But what has wound me up is that the car has been parked there since this afternoon and will doubtless be there all tomorrow as the husband is out drinking tonight and probably won't have time to shift it in the morning.

Must say I'm tempted tomorrow when I go out rather than struggle with getting round it (it's a large Volvo 4x4) I'll just leave my car on their drive as I have things to do. ;)

So do you legally own the land that that space is on? You should put a little (but permanent) sign up saying that that the space is private property, parking is trespassing etc.

Quote: zooo @ July 11 2012, 8:24 PM BST

It's even worse when you're short like me. :( Armpit city.

Ah, but the little tiny office women are often the most aggressive on the Tubes. When the door opens, they always try and dart in front of me to get on first. When this happens, I have to do my Cat from Red Dwarf and make myself big to scare them off.

Though I do feel sorry for them later on in the journey when they can't quite reach the high hand rails and you watch the little short arses get bounced around the carriage - usually into other people's armpits funnily enough.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ July 11 2012, 8:31 PM BST

So do you legally own the land that that space is on? You should put a little (but permanent) sign up saying that that the space is private property, parking is trespassing etc.

We've shown her the copy of the conveyance with the land outlined in red and she still reckons that the space is for anyone to use. Apparently she thinks she can park outside the next door properties as well. I' m hoping that it won't come to lawyers but given the depths of stupidity she is plumbing I have a nasty feeling it will end with us issuing proceedings for trespass.

Quote: zooo @ July 11 2012, 8:24 PM BST

It's even worse when you're short like me. :( Armpit city.

Nutbush City Limits just sprung into my head. In a rude way.

RC, you should do what Marc P does, and simply get around in a chauffeur-driven Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost.

He actually has his own line on the Underground, the P-line.

Quote: Nogget @ July 11 2012, 8:45 PM BST

RC, you should do what Marc P does, and simply get around in a chauffeur-driven Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost.

He really should quit that limo driving job - but we all know how much he loves a good wedding. Lovey

Quote: sootyj @ July 11 2012, 8:50 PM BST

He actually has his own line on the Underground, the P-line.

That's P-Lineage to you peon. ;)

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 11 2012, 8:39 PM BST

Ah, but the little tiny office women are often the most aggressive on the Tubes. When the door opens, they always try and dart in front of me to get on first. When this happens, I have to do my Cat from Red Dwarf and make myself big to scare them off.

Though I do feel sorry for them later on in the journey when they can't quite reach the high hand rails and you watch the little short arses get bounced around the carriage - usually into other people's armpits funnily enough.

Getting the train back from the meetup it pulls into StPancras and literally 5 deep pissed clubbers crowd around each door. And they just pour straight on, had to push through the middle.

And they're like getting super pissed.

Because, what? I didn't want to goto motherf**king Luton so they could get on the train slightly swifter.

I hope they get Hanta Virus from monkey rape.

My child. My lovely, adorable, sweet child. With no sense for money and she's almost 8 1/2, or so she tells everyone.

She likes these rubbers from a posh stationery shop and collects them. They're a pound each and she gets them with her pocket money.

I asked her earlier where they were and she told me she was selling them at school. She sold 10 at only 10p each. The face on her when I explained that with that money she'd only be able to buy one in that shop.

She's usually good at maths.

Angry

Quote: sootyj @ July 11 2012, 8:56 PM BST

Getting the train back from the meetup it pulls into StPancras and literally 5 deep pissed clubbers crowd around each door. And they just pour straight on, had to push through the middle.

This happens to me all the time, soon as the door opens there is a wall of people literally blocking your exit.

I put on my bestest, lowest and most manly 'Excuse me!', coupled with the death stare as I just push right into the selfish mutha fudgers. Politeness is a two way street.

Renegade, it's perfectly simple - don't wash for a month and dress in oldest clothes - nobody will go near a smelly tramp in case they get lice.

Some times they sort of form a funnel you can pass through.

But never on the train.

Quote: Booo @ July 11 2012, 9:05 PM BST

She likes these rubbers from a posh stationery shop and collects them. They're a pound each and she gets them with her pocket money.

I was going to make a tasteless joke about buying your daughter 'rubbers', but that story was too cute.

Have a nice wave instead. Wave

Quote: keewik @ July 11 2012, 9:09 PM BST

Renegade, it's perfectly simple - don't wash for a month and dress in oldest clothes - nobody will go near a smelly tramp in case they get lice.

In fairness you don't sell many Big Issues do you?

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