Grams:
Hovis advert music throughout
Narrator:
Do you remember, back in the day, when you could come to this thread and find out which members were hungover, in bed, in a mood (good or bad), were at work hating their boss. Which members had an itchy hand, a twisted testicle or an animal in their garden. Which members were on a plane to Seattle, a train to Nottingham or the bus into town.
Quote: Marc P @ July 6 2012, 10:04 AM BSTANyway, how's it going for you rwayne. Had any good news lately?
It's going very well Marc, thank you for asking. As it happens I did, just yesterday, have some great news.
How's yourself? I hope this day finds you well.
Very well thanks, standing under the cliff face of a deadline but the sun is at my back and a handsome picnic awaits at the top of it.
Will Cam is in bed eating tiger bread toast with lime marmalade (that's the sweet preserve, not my new Thai bride).
Oh god, I feel a sootyj Thai bride and whippet sketch coming up.
Quote: Will Cam @ July 6 2012, 10:19 AM BSTWill Cam is in bed eating tiger bread toast with lime marmalade (that's the sweet preserve, not my new Thai bride).
What is her name then?
Quote: Marc P @ July 6 2012, 10:16 AM BSTVery well thanks, standing under the cliff face of a deadline but the sun is at my back and a handsome picnic awaits at the top of it.
The view will be more spectacular for the climb... enjoy the basket once you're there.
Quote: Marc P @ July 6 2012, 10:21 AM BSTOh god, I feel a sootyj Thai bride and whippet sketch coming up.
I apologies in advance Mark 
Quote: Marc P @ July 6 2012, 10:21 AM BSTOh god, I feel a sootyj Thai bride and whippet sketch coming up.
Write it yourself you drunken hack.
Quote: Nogget @ July 6 2012, 10:22 AM BSTWhat is her name then?
Steaming hot mug of tea (I call her Char for short Nogget).
I am not sure what will be in the basket but I am sure it will be delightful.
ANd... Yes please be more careful in future Our willcam
Quote: sootyj @ July 6 2012, 10:24 AM BSTWrite it yourself you drunken hack.
Quote: sootyj @ July 6 2012, 10:24 AM BSTWrite it yourself you drunken hack.
Appen I'm busy tha knows!
Quote: Marc P @ July 6 2012, 10:26 AM BSTAppen I'm busy tha knows!
MARCP is sitting in his fabulous vaulted writing parlour (with ensuite stately home).
He has an intravenous bottle of whiskey and a jeroboam of krug from which he sips from via a bendy straw.
His cat is lying on the desk.
MARCP (out load)
"I know who killed Lady Fartagale" said the drunken detective drunkenly.
Must type that up.
MARCP Leans over and rapidly pokes his cat with his fingers.
Cat yowls bits MARCP and runs off.
MARCP
Ouch! The facking word processor bit me again!
MRS MARCP OOV
It's the cat you buffoon! You've taken the word processor to the vets to be neutered.
MARCP
I am not drunk vile harridan! I am doing research!
MRS MARCP OOV
Yeh yeh the drunken detective, what is it this time? The case of who spilled my pint? Or who sicked up in my shoes caper?
MARCP
No it the case of why don't you shurrup whilst I'm drinking. I mean writing, I mean researching. I mean shurrup. Now where's that lap top?
MARCP scoops up his faithful dog and puts him on the desk.
MARCP takes an epic swig of booze.
MARCP
"it was I the drunken detective who killed lady fartagale, she knicked my special brew. You'll never take me alive coppers!"
Now to type that up.
MARCP Jabs his faithful hound right up the bum it bites him.
MARCP
Oooyah! It happened again I think we might have a virus sweetness!
Quote: rwayne @ July 6 2012, 9:59 AM BSTI'll just pop my wellies on and wade through the irony of this post to ask a question or two:
Do you disagree with what I said? Did you dislike the way I said it? or did you read as far as 'rwayne' and start typing your reaction?
Sometimes, on here, theres so much knee-jerking it's like an Elvis tribute convention.
It's not irony; that's not how irony works. Particularly due to the word unwarranted.
I entirely disagreed what what you said, but more importantly, the way you said it and the fact you even felt the need say it at all. Why be personally cruel to someone who has (as far as I can tell) not even ever directly spoken to you?
You must have some sort of social disorder if you can't understand why speaking to people in the way you do on this forum is unpleasant and uncalled for. My responses to you are based solely on your actions- yours are based on a seeming need just to put people down when you think (GOD FORBID) they might be after a bit of attention.
Big man, well done.