sootyj
Friday 6th July 2012 9:40am [Edited]
51,287 posts
Quote: Marc P @ July 6 2012, 10:26 AM BST
Appen I'm busy tha knows!
MARCP is sitting in his fabulous vaulted writing parlour (with ensuite stately home).
He has an intravenous bottle of whiskey and a jeroboam of krug from which he sips from via a bendy straw.
His cat is lying on the desk.
MARCP (out load)
"I know who killed Lady Fartagale" said the drunken detective drunkenly.
Must type that up.
MARCP Leans over and rapidly pokes his cat with his fingers.
Cat yowls bits MARCP and runs off.
MARCP
Ouch! The facking word processor bit me again!
MRS MARCP OOV
It's the cat you buffoon! You've taken the word processor to the vets to be neutered.
MARCP
I am not drunk vile harridan! I am doing research!
MRS MARCP OOV
Yeh yeh the drunken detective, what is it this time? The case of who spilled my pint? Or who sicked up in my shoes caper?
MARCP
No it the case of why don't you shurrup whilst I'm drinking. I mean writing, I mean researching. I mean shurrup. Now where's that lap top?
MARCP scoops up his faithful dog and puts him on the desk.
MARCP takes an epic swig of booze.
MARCP
"it was I the drunken detective who killed lady fartagale, she knicked my special brew. You'll never take me alive coppers!"
Now to type that up.
MARCP Jabs his faithful hound right up the bum it bites him.
MARCP
Oooyah! It happened again I think we might have a virus sweetness!