It sounds like I wasn't giving women much credit, but the amount of women I know who have read this book and who are "looking for their Mr. Grey" is ridiculous. I don't think it's "in control" just to read and fantasise about these situations just because everyone else is.
Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ June 24 2012, 3:00 PM BSTIt sounds like I wasn't giving women much credit, but the amount of women I know who have read this book and who are "looking for their Mr. Grey" is ridiculous. I don't think it's "in control" just to read and fantasise about these situations just because everyone else is.
Ew. People are weird, full stop.
Weirdly, I used to know a boy called Christian Grey. He must be in a living hell right now. Hehe.
Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ June 24 2012, 2:55 PM BSTI personally think that the other problem is how popular it's become. There's not a problem with women or men fantasizing about these kind of relationships, with a limit. But once it becomes this mainstream, I (perhaps overthinkingly) worry that many women might end up in situations like this just because they've been popularised and glamourised, not because they desired them beforehand. Conversely, some men might think that this book is all women's fantasy, and take it as carte blanche to treat women in the same way that Mr. Grey does. I think it's potentially slightly dangerous to make it such a mainstream thing for women to submit to men because it's popularly "sexy", rather than doing hat they actually want to.
Women don't really 'end up' in a sexually submissive role in a relationship.
They do end up in abusive relationships which is, really, an entirely different thing.
But it's whether all people can differentiate between those things. Men and women alike.
For those who can't differentiate then the answer is... abusive.
Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ June 24 2012, 2:55 PM BSTI (perhaps overthinkingly) worry that many women might end up in situations like this just because they've been popularised and glamourised, not because they desired them beforehand.
I think you are definitely overthinking this Scats and I find your worries a bit patronising to your own gender. Like they have to be 'protected' from themselves when it comes to erotic fiction.
It's a sexual / relationship fantasy - and fantasy is the main word - it doesn't necessarily equate to them wanting to experience it in real life. I would imagine that most of the women who read 50 Shades are well to do, Western women, who know their own minds and this is just a release from their own perceived hum-drum lives.
I find Being Jordan much more harmful and some of that is real.
Quote: rwayne @ June 24 2012, 3:04 PM BSTFor those who can't differentiate then the answer is... abusive.
And for those who can?
It is often said that in a dominant-submissive relationship that it is the submissive who holds the true power. Someone mentioned Secretary, which is pretty much based on that premise.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 24 2012, 3:04 PM BSTI find Being Jordan much more harmful and some of that is real.
Is that a book? Or do you just mean her show.
Quote: dellas @ June 24 2012, 2:59 PM BST
I volunteer to piss on RCS head if I make it to the 'Meet' -feel free to photograph and post.
Yes as pointed out with chat earlier
'power' in 'relationships' is very deep and changeable?
I thought you never posted rude stuff?
Besides western civilisation seems to have survived the story of O
Looks forward to hearing about scats giving her fella a contract written on hello kitty notepaper
Giving permission to smack her with a copy of the female eunuch
Quote: dellas @ June 24 2012, 2:59 PM BST
I have a weird boner right now.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 24 2012, 3:04 PM BSTI think you are definitely overthinking this Scats and I find your worries a bit patronising to your own gender. Like they have to be 'protected' from themselves when it comes to erotic fiction.
It's a sexual / relationship fantasy - and fantasy is the main word - it doesn't necessarily equate to them wanting to experience it in real life. I would imagine that most of the women who read 50 Shades are well to do, Western women, who know their own minds and this is just a release from their own perceived hum-drum lives.
I find Being Jordan much more harmful and some of that is real.
I don't think it's necessarily patronising to women. I worry about if men will abuse it too. I don't think any adult who is able to understand what they're reading needs to be protected from erotic fiction. I think that it being sensationalised as fashionable could be a problem, but yes - maybe that is overthinking.
Quote: zooo @ June 24 2012, 3:05 PM BSTIs that a book?
Wasn't it her autobiography? I could be wrong, any Katie Price fans in the crowd?
Quote: Tursiops @ June 24 2012, 3:05 PM BSTAnd for those who can?
If both parties can then they will be able to determine, for themselves, which it is.
Quote: Scatterbrained Floozy @ June 24 2012, 3:08 PM BSTI worry about if men will abuse it too.
I don't think many men have heard of this book, much less read it. Like when Twilight came out, most of us were scratching our heads going 'what?'.
I think it's kind of difficult for anyone to avoid it to be honest. I'm going to keep schtum now though. 