INT: COSMETIC COUNTER IN A DEPARTMENT STORE
ASSISTANT: Can I interest madam in our new bust firming cream?
SHOPPER: Why? Have I got saggy boobs?
ASSISTANT: No madam, I'm simply making you aware that this fantastic product is guaranteed to give your bust a more youthful appearance.
SHOPPER: What do you know? You're only a child.
ASSISTANT: Thank you, but I'm actually 22, with the perky tits of an 18 year old.
SHOPPER: Lucky you! But I'm old enough to know that age doesn't matter as long as you're comfortable in your own skin.
ASSISTANT: Yeah, that old, wrinkly sofa look is a classic.
SHOPPER: (DESPERATE)OK, OK Give me 10 bottles!
ASSISTANT: That'll be 600 pounds please.
SHOPPER: Do you really think my skin's leathery?
ASSISTANT: No, but you're easily suede.
Mofos.