In other news apparently the new Harvey Knicks incontinence pants campaign has not gone down too well. A spokesperson from their Publicity department said they really regretted leaking pictures.
KI: One Liners Page 5
Quote: 3songsnoflash @ June 14 2012, 12:07 PM BSTIt is, it is...
But, unfortunately, that was quite a popular line as the news was breaking last night, it was all over twitter, all over facebook, so I think everyone would have heard it by now...
Ah, that makes sense. I really must find out about this whole "Twitter" thing - is it like email?
WOMAN. (BIRMINGHAM) I heard on the news more than 50% of people ordered to use tags break the rules. I reckon Twitter should suspend their accounts!
You won't catch me ever using twitter, loathe it...it's for twits.
As Lance Armstrong won his latest race, bombing over the line on a 1972 Chopper stuck in third gear, he was once again beset by allegations of doping abuse.
"A man who tried to get a free lunch, has been sent to prison... where all of his lunches will be free."
"Police have begun rounding up internet paedophiles... hang on, there's a knock at the door."
"Northerners are as racist today; as Southerners were forty years ago. If only they'd learn to Love Thy Neighbour!"
"Girls have been advised to choose 'cheerleader husbands'. I'd better buy some pom poms."
"I reckon we should bail out Shane Filan... providing he agrees to stop singing!"
"Jenny Eclair is no longer a 'Loose Woman'. Pelvic floor exercises have a lot to answer for!"
"Undercover police are now allowed to sleep with activists. Hence, why I'm the newest member of Greenpeace."
Quote: groovydude89 @ June 14 2012, 3:52 PM BST"Jenny Eclair is no longer a 'Loose Woman'. Apparently, pelvic floor exercises were to blame!"
Surely "pelvic floor exercises were the answer/solution" or "lack of pelvic floor exercises were to blame"?
Quote: Tony Cowards @ June 14 2012, 4:18 PM BSTSurely "pelvic floor exercises were the answer/solution" or "lack of pelvic floor exercises were to blame"?
How about:
"Jenny Eclair is no longer a 'Loose Woman'. Pelvic floor exercises have a lot to answer for!"
How about:
Jenny Eclair is no longer a loose woman. A spokesperson for the show said that purse strings had to be tightened somewhere.
Quote: groovydude89 @ June 14 2012, 4:21 PM BSTHow about:
"Jenny Eclair is no longer a 'Loose Woman'. Pelvic floor exercises have a lot to answer for!"
But pelvic floor exercises would help prevent becoming a "loose woman".
Quote: Tony Cowards @ June 14 2012, 4:27 PM BSTBut pelvic floor exercises would help prevent becoming a "loose woman".
I wrote it from the perspective of a character who prefers women to be "loose".
(Posh Whiney Voice)
And in other news I am absolutely appalled by the way the Levison enquiry stuck into Cameron and Hunt, shame on Lord Levison for trying to dig dirt out of a very decent, hard working and honorable Conservative party - and coming up latter on Fox News U.K, (scuffle) rehab admissions are on the rise.
In a small Yorkshire town a group of German delegates where greeted by a group of impressionists dressed in Nazi uniform. When asked 'What zi hell are you doing?' One replied 'Sorry Prince harry couldn't meet you today old boy so we thought we would make you feel at home instead.'
The fa have a new slogan about gay footballers, called So what?, I think that should be our national slogan, The World is ending, So What? A Frenchman farted, So What? Iran are making Nuclear weapons, So What? The Germans want Greece to bow to there every wime, So What? We have ran out of cream buns, So What? Someone nicked my car, So What? Oh sorry that one is already used by the police.
The north is 40 years behind rest of country in terms of racism, I know, my welsh friend went up there a year ago, he never came back.
(Yorkshire Voice)
Us northerners are not racist, Get on ya bike you Scottish prike!, We welcome everybody with open arms, Oi welsh boy there's a randy sheep over there! We love the international community, Come in come in scousers, And we never ever watch It aint Half Hot Mum, Oi you load of southern puffs Shudddup!
Shock at the 1.8 billion cost of the scheme to track emails was assuaged by the government's revelation that a Nigerian prince has offered to pay it
Bit outside the deadline. Connection problems, guv, honest:
David Cameron has told Leveson that politicians have become too close to the media - LOL!
... who in turn were too close to the police - LOLO!
If Jeremy Hunt now features in more than 34% of media coverage, does that mean he should be broken up?
Cameron's memory seemed nearly as bad as James Murdoch's before the Leveson enquiry, which makes you wonder - what were they doing at those Chipping Norton parties?
(Greek) Hi, this is Greece. You know, we didn't mention it before but actually we hold the rights to the concept and title 'The Olympic Games' which are available for a small fee ... ok it's a big fee .. and, erm, you remember what you used to cal anal sex?
Did you see the Jubilee Pageant? The Queen was on a house? on the water? and it didn't fall in! It was a Jubilee miracle! ... Yes, I am a BBC Presenter, why do you ask?
(Russian) What to do about Syria? It is a mystery, wrapped in an enigma inside a state of the art ground attack helicopter ... I think you see my point.
I'm going on a training camp this summer - for Sunny Activists. Sounds lovely, don't you think? Although I'm a bit suspicious they can't even spell 'sunny'.
There is something very unpleasant about Polish and Ukrainian racism - but on the other hand the men are thick and the women are easy, so, 'hooray for Polacks' I say.
Boom! Time's up!
Bomsh, you just made it... 