Quote: Bomsh @ June 13 2012, 5:24 PM BSTIs there a time limit to when we can bombard you with crap today? Midnight?
That's a great question...
Let's set the cut off at 5pm on Thursday. Anything before that will definitely get read...
Cheers...
KI: One Liners Page 4
WOMAN - I'm bringing the husband and kids to that pub David Cameron went to next Sunday. I mean, where else can you get a full roast with complimentary babysitting services for £5.99 these days?
Quote: AJGO @ June 13 2012, 5:32 PM BSTYou haven't quite grasped subliminal messaging yet have you Marc poppet?
The last thing I grasped subliminal got my face slapped!
The behaviour of the Russian fans have cost their country a six point deduction for the next Euros. If we wind up the Spanish and the German fans we could win
British people are 3 stone heavier than they were fifty years ago. Of course we are we're fifty years older!
I've seen a lot about legionnaires in the news. Is that like a legion of millionaires?
Apparently the Olympics are 476million pounds under budget, but don't tell Spain or Greece
It's no surprise David Cameron left a small girl behind when he left the pub, he leaves a small boy running the country every time he leaves the House.
I've had a marvellous time following the Olympic torch around Britain seeing all the people coming out of their houses and lining the streets to cheer it on. It's made me so happy to be... a burglar
Harry Redknapp is to be given a £3 million pay-off by Spurs which after tax should work out as....£3 million.
Kate Moss is confusing her dog by not wearing heels when she walks him and calls him to heel.
Inflation alert as the price of Bacon reaches £7 millions.
The Society of British Misanthropes has vowed to resist the concept of gay marriages.
China is snubbing Britain for meeting the Dalai Lama rather than their own mass-produced alternatives.
Quote: Poirot @ June 13 2012, 11:07 PM BSTHarry Redknapp is to be given a £3 million pay-off by Spurs which after tax should work out as....£3 million.
Lovely.
Quote: Poirot @ June 13 2012, 11:07 PM BSTHarry Redknapp is to be given a £3 million pay-off by Spurs which after tax should work out as....£3 million.
That's a brilliant one-liner!
Nokia is getting rid of 10,000 jobs. Redundancy packages will be pay as you go
In stock market news, Italy flogged all their bonds. I've written similar fan fiction
Bad news for Redknapp getting fired. Still there's some compensation, Rosie's got Mervin Kings job.
Quote: Poirot @ June 13 2012, 11:07 PM BSTHarry Redknapp is to be given a £3 million pay-off by Spurs which after tax should work out as....£3 million.
My fave so far.
Quote: Big Jack @ June 13 2012, 10:11 PM BSTIt's no surprise David Cameron left a small girl behind when he left the pub, he leaves a small boy running the country every time he leaves the House.
Liked this, but I think it'd benefit from a re-write.
Quote: AJGO @ June 14 2012, 11:04 AM BSTNokia is getting rid of 10,000 jobs. Redundancy packages will be pay as you go
Liked this also.
Quote: Poirot @ June 13 2012, 11:07 PM BSTHarry Redknapp is to be given a £3 million pay-off by Spurs which after tax should work out as....£3 million.
Quote: Frantically @ June 14 2012, 7:31 AM BSTThat's a brilliant one-liner!
It is, it is...
But, unfortunately, that was quite a popular line as the news was breaking last night, it was all over twitter, all over facebook, so I think everyone would have heard it by now... 
Unfortunately its often better to go less funny and more unusual.
As the obvious jokes explode onto the twittersphere so fast.
Manager Harry Redknapp was highly delighted with the £3 million he got upon leaving Spurs. Paul Lambert, however, was not so pleased with the custard Pie he received from Delia Smith after leaving Norwich City. Let's be having you! she shouted, allegedly, as she shoved it in his face.