Quote: Booo @ June 12 2012, 10:10 PM BSTOh, I was expecting tales of a corkscrew or similar.
Can I recommend you re-read appropriate passages in Blood Work! 
Things that piss you off Page 987
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 12 2012, 9:52 PM BSTWhy are EDF Energy using a dollopy turd to advertise their products?
I had a card one of the little foamy flame creature through the letterbox the other day...am going to frame it and keep it on my bedside table 
Quote: Shandonbelle @ June 13 2012, 1:32 PM BSTI had a card one of the little foamy flame creature through the letterbox the other day...am going to frame it and keep it on my bedside table
*Shandonbelle is obviously used to having turds shoved through her letterbox*
Damn rain when you've gone out in your summer appareil.
Quote: Stylee TingTing @ June 13 2012, 2:02 PM BSTDamn rain when you've gone out in your summer appareil.
Serves you right for driving a fancy French convertible.
Quote: Stylee TingTing @ June 13 2012, 2:02 PM BSTDamn rain when you've gone out in your summer appareil.
That would be my fault, I went out earlier when it was sunny wearing my new sandy coloured summer jacket. I will be selling it to a tribe of shamen in Africa when the next droughts come.
I was having a brilliant day and was in a remarkably good mood until I was pissed off by not being sure whether I'd just boiled the kettle or not. It's all 'safe' and 'insulated' so you don't put your hand on it and burn yourself. How the f**k am I supposed to know if it's boiled? Am I expected to remember if I just walked into the room and turned it on every single time I want a cup of coffee?
Quote: AJGO @ June 13 2012, 2:31 PM BSTI was having a brilliant day and was in a remarkably good mood until I was pissed off by not being sure whether I'd just boiled the kettle or not. It's all 'safe' and 'insulated' so you don't put your hand on it and burn yourself. How the f**k am I supposed to know if it's boiled? Am I expected to remember if I just walked into the room and turned it on every single time I want a cup of coffee?
Pour a little bit of the water into a cup. If steam comes off you boiled the kettle.
Quote: AJGO @ June 13 2012, 2:31 PM BSTHow the f**k am I supposed to know if it's boiled? Am I expected to remember if I just walked into the room and turned it on every single time I want a cup of coffee?
Open the lid, if steam comes out, then you have boiled it recently. Or would that be too easy?
I use it a lot. I can't be bothered to go through this charade of a scientific endeavour every half hour. Especially not when I Want Some F**king Coffee.
And steam always comes out cos it's always recently boiled and it's 'insulated', but I want to know if it's JUST boiled or if it was boiled thirty or fifteen or even five minutes ago.
Why can't I just remember whether or not I turned it on a minute ago? 
This is why the expression
"holding up half the sky"
pisses me off.
If women did the sky would have fallen in years ago.
Quote: AJGO @ June 13 2012, 2:38 PM BSTWhy can't I just remember whether or not I turned it on a minute ago?
Drugs? Alzheimers? Not taking your Alzheimers drugs?
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 13 2012, 2:33 PM BSTOpen the lid, if steam comes out, then you have boiled it recently.
Not necessarily.
If she can't even remember boiling the kettle, she might have forgotten having taken a piss in it.
Quote: sootyj @ June 13 2012, 2:40 PM BSTThis is why the expression
"holding up half the sky"
pisses me off.
If women did the sky would have fallen in years ago.
I have never heard that expression. What are you talking about?
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 13 2012, 2:40 PM BSTDrugs? Alzheimers? Not taking your Alzheimers drugs?
My suddenly patchy memory does seem to be improving (got Mendelev in pub quiz the other week, get in), but no-one remembers turning the kettle on, do they? Do they?!
Quote: Nogget @ June 13 2012, 2:41 PM BSTNot necessarily.
If she can't even remember boiling the kettle, she might have forgotten having taken a piss in it.
My pithy reply was forgotten in a sudden panic of trying to recall when I did in fact last pee. Do people remember this too?
DOES EVERYONE EXCEPT ME REMEMBER MINOR DOMESTIC DETAILS?
I never got the comedic ageing thing of 'wandered into a room and didn't know what I was doing there'. I have always done this
Quote: AJGO @ June 13 2012, 2:45 PM BSTMy suddenly patchy memory does seem to be improving (got Mendelev in pub quiz the other week, get in), but no-one remembers turning the kettle on, do they? Do they?!
Calm down dear. Simply flip the knob up again and it will either boil very quickly or in the usual time.