British Comedy Guide

Tattoos Page 21

Quote: Booo @ June 6 2012, 6:07 PM BST

It was me who took the first step, after the "bloody foreigns" incident.

So you can ogle/stare/judge some more?

To be fair the meetups aren't that bad, and you can always find the table super eay just look for

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Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 6 2012, 6:06 PM BST

Nope. ;)

You'll have to figure it out all by yourself - or come to a BCG Drinks.

Meet me behind the bike sheds rwayne and I'll show you just how sweet.

You'd be disappointed... I don't have any pigtails you can pull.

(PS. You don't need to private message women, I mean people, how sensitive you are really... we all know you're a sweetie)

Gavin for the last time.

I AM NOT GOING TO PULL YOUR FINGER!

Piss off back to Wales if you want to fart.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 6 2012, 6:00 PM BST

Booo, I don't know you, I don't know what kind of tattoos you have or where, I was making a general, not a personal observation. If this has caused you personal offence, then I apologise.

It could have been worse though, I could have called you a narrow minded c**t on the BCG.

Whistling nnocently

Silly me, I thought you might have read my quite extensive post on my tats in reply to Scatter.
I apologise profusely.

Quote: Booo @ June 6 2012, 6:10 PM BST

Silly me, I thought you might have read my quite extensive post on my tats in reply to Scatter.
I apologise profusely.

If it was more then a page and half back, I will have most likely missed it. So, how many tats do you have and why?

Quote: Lee @ June 6 2012, 5:22 PM BST

You've never squandered £150 or sums of around that amount on Thai Ladyboys or whatever it is that gets your rocks off?

Honestly, who the hell spends £150 (or thereabouts) on ladyboys of any nationality? I can line you up with a few stunners, with or without appendages, for much less.

Quote: rwayne @ June 6 2012, 6:10 PM BST

(PS. You don't need to private message women, I mean people, how sensitive you are really... we all know you're a sweetie)

You're just jealous I never sent you a PM. Console

Quote: Kenneth @ June 6 2012, 6:14 PM BST

I can line you up with a few stunners, with or without appendages, for much less.

How many appendages are we talking about and what kind of discount?

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 6 2012, 6:16 PM BST

You're just jealous I never sent you a PM. Console

Of course... and surprised, because you thought I was a woman. You were astounded I am a man. Astounded on three or four different occasions over the last few months. That's right isn't it?

Quote: rwayne @ June 6 2012, 6:20 PM BST

You were astounded I am a man.

I still am.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 6 2012, 6:21 PM BST

I still am.

Well my advice is leave it a few weeks and then say how astounded you are again... everyone will think you're ace and a real wag.

Hey Rwayne could you write a dustcover for a transexual romance novel?

Quote: rwayne @ June 6 2012, 6:20 PM BST

Of course... and surprised, because you thought I was a woman. You were astounded I am a man. Astounded on three or four different occasions over the last few months. That's right isn't it?

I say!

Quote: sootyj @ June 6 2012, 6:30 PM BST

Hey Rwayne could you write a dustcover for a transexual romance novel?

I say!

Of course, no problem.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 6 2012, 4:58 PM BST

I make instant snap judgements based on the design and placement of the tattoos.

This did the rounds on Facebook a while ago:

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For the record, no one gives a tinker's cuss what I think about tattoos. Tramp stamps, Asian gangsters and wannabees, done porridge in Wormwood Scrubs or Wandsworth, porn star, blue collar hard-working class, noisy singer, wayward cricket bowler, trying to improve sex-life, youthful folly, etc, etc.

A word of warning: If a girl is too embarrassed to get a tattoo done in her parents' house and wants to use your house, make sure she doesn't drink too much booze just before and during the tattooing. Also, make sure the chair or couch that she's sitting on is well covered in old towels or blankets, cos even the best tattoo artists spill a bit, and that ink tends to spoil the cushions.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 6 2012, 6:17 PM BST

How many appendages are we talking about and what kind of discount?

No discounts, just their standard rates, which are way below 150 quid. Generally just the one appendage unless there's been some bifurcation. In a couple of days I'll be exploring the wild west of China, so will report back. If you or Lee or any others are keen for some non-extortionate ladyboy action, just let me know. Seems damned silly or generous to be spending 150 quid.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ June 6 2012, 6:14 PM BST

So, how many tats do you have and why?

That's too forward a question, I barely know you. Thirteen at the last count. That must make me a wannabe Kat Von D, or just a filthy whore, not sure. You'd have to judge it for yourself.

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