British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 968

Quote: Nil Putters @ June 5 2012, 9:59 PM BST

Also, reality TV facists.

Also, bags. One, those f**king bags in supermarkets for putting fruit in. And, two, bin bags. How hard are they to open!!!? I often lose my rag with them in the middle of the shop going a little Basil Fawlty.

Also, also, toilet rolls that don't unravel properly and you end up having to waste the first ten sheets by tearing them away.

:D

<3

Quote: Lee @ June 5 2012, 9:52 PM BST

I can't stand philistines of music.

A lot of pop may not come from the heart but if it gets your foot-a-tapping what's the f**king problem?

It's like when you call it (c)rap. That's just the opinion of someone who doesn't understand it, but it's perfectly understandable if it doesn't sound good in your ear and I'm not surprised a 93 year old man can't relate to the the early 70s Bronx ghetto scene. I'm surprised you easily dismiss something that has roots in blues music, jazz and even further back. Rap is the biggest franchise in the world. Sure there's a lot of pop-rap, that has lost touch with its values but at the end of the day it is an extremnely powerful form of expressive music (to a beat or rythm) that cannot be so easily dismissed.

Rant over.

I just don't think Take That are very good. I can appreciate all sorts of music. When it comes to rap I like Dream Warriors, Run DMC, and a few more interesting or humourous ones but I can't really see the point of just chanting over a rhythm track with no musical skill or songwriting talent.

Quote: Lee @ June 5 2012, 9:52 PM BST

I can't stand philistines of music.

A lot of pop may not come from the heart but if it gets your foot-a-tapping what's the f**king problem?

It's like when you call it (c)rap. That's just the opinion of someone who doesn't understand it..

You wouldn't say that if you'd been subjected to 50+ years of the same tired old chord progressions, the same tired old males singing "Baby I Love You" (Trans.: Get your knickers off).. and the same old b*****d neighbours who technothump it through your walls and ceilings 24/7..

..or maybe you would?

Quote: Chappers @ June 5 2012, 10:06 PM BST

I just don't think Take That are very good.

At what though? Who are you comparing them to? What is a good boyband, are you more of a Boyzone fan? Maybe you're a JLC kinda guy?

I understand you don't like them. Fair enough. I can even understand why you think they're crap. But I'm not sure what they're not good at? Not gettting multiple Number 1s? Or maybe being the most popular boyband (in the modern sense) in Britain and one of the most in the world?

Laughing out loud

Quote: Chappers @ June 5 2012, 10:06 PM BST

I can appreciate all sorts of music. When it comes to rap I like Dream Warriors, Run DMC, and a few more interesting or humourous ones but I can't really see the point of just chanting over a rhythm track with no musical skill or songwriting talent.

Why do you like Rum DMC? They're very rappy, the rappiest, maybe? Except when they went Walk This Way, and even then, they rapped in it. Hah! The Dream Warriors, fair dos!

The point? I can't answer that? Why does anyone do anything? Why does a singer sing? To share their story, to sell records, to get sex?

Quote: Lee @ June 5 2012, 10:16 PM BST

Why do you like Rum DMC?

Because they've got spirit?

TTPYO? Not having a pop at Will Cam, but those "Keep Calm &..." pictures. Can we, as a nation, stop now please?

Quote: Will Cam @ June 5 2012, 10:17 PM BST
Image

Quote: Lee @ June 5 2012, 10:16 PM BST

Why do you like Rum DMC? They're very rappy, the rappiest, maybe? Except when they went Walk This Way off the plank, and even then, they rapped in it.

Yaar I beloving them that 80s Pirate rock groups.

I hate it that my body is so conditioned to waking up early (birds or no birds). It's half-term, I don't have to work and my child has only just got up. And yet I've been awake since 6. At least my body was, my face is still partially asleep.

Laughing out loud Touche'

Quote: Nil Putters @ June 5 2012, 9:59 PM BST

Also, reality TV facists.

Also, bags. One, those f**king bags in supermarkets for putting fruit in. And, two, bin bags. How hard are they to open!!!? I often lose my rag with them in the middle of the shop going a little Basil Fawlty.

The fruit bags or the bin bag?

If the latter what are you doing trying to open them in the middle of the shop, unless of course you work there.

Fruit bags. Bin bags at home.

You just give the bag a good rub and it comes apart Nil.

Quote: Nil Putters @ June 5 2012, 10:23 PM BST

Because they've got spirit?

TTPYO? Not having a pop at Will Cam, but those "Keep Calm &..." pictures. Can we, as a nation, stop now please?

OUR WILL CAM IS STANDING IN THE FRONT DOOR OF HIS HOUSE LOOKING SHAME FACED BESIDES HIM STANDS A CROSS LOOKING POLICE OFFICER INFRONT STANDS MRS OUR WILL CAM WITH ROLLERS IN HER HAIR AND A ROLLING PIN

OUR WILL CAM HAS A BOOT SHAPED MARK IN THE BACK OF HIS TROUSER, A FLATTENED NOSE AND A TRUNCHEON SHAPED DENT IN HIS FLAT CAP

POLICE OFFICER
Is this your husband mam?

MRS OUR WILL CAM
Aye, he looks a bit battered. But that's our layabout, work shy husband whats he been doing now?

POLICE OFFICER
Playing pooh sticks the young scally wag.

MRS OUR WILL CAM
And you gave thou nincompoop a shoeing for that?

POLICE OFFICER
He did a 1000 plops off bridge in t' river. He was sticking little union jacks in them with cocktail sticks an all.

OUR WILL CAM
I only wanted to see t' flottila. But after Jarrow Marches us shiftless Northern unemployed aren't allowed down south. So I were making a pootilla.

POLICE OFFICER
And the wicked crime of dogicide.

POLICE OFFICER HANDS OUR WILL CAM'S WIFE A BLOODIED POTATO SACK SHE LOOKS INSIDE AND SHRIEKS.

OUR WILL CAM'S WIFE
Eeee our Sootyj! Ee's been hoofed to death. Why our will Cam?

OUR WILL CAM
Eee were being reet unpatriotic. I asked how our lovely queen were looking and e said "Rough!"

POLICE OFFICER
Can I leave this reprobate with you mam?

OUR WILL CAM'S WIFE
I think you rightly can! He's due for his OBE.

OUR WILL CAM
Eee grand I knew me patriotism would pay off.

OUR WILL CAM'S WIFE
One bent ear!

OUR WILL CAM'S WIFE DRAGS HIM IN BY ONE EAR

OUR WILL CAM
Owww turned out shite again!

Classic Laughing out loud

Quote: Nil Putters @ June 6 2012, 10:50 AM BST

Fruit bags. Bin bags at home.

Always fun when you try to open them at one end to find it stuck, try the other to find it also stuck. I think the bag stick pixies like to play mind games with you and block both ends the first time you try to open them.

Not sure what that has to do with my post, sootyj, but ok.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ June 6 2012, 11:33 AM BST

You just give the bag a good rub and it comes apart Nil.

That's what "they" would have you believe, I'm not convinced.

And to add insult to injury, in-store, you're there struggling to get the bastarding 'fruit bag' open only to have some one else trundle up and whip one open easy as pie! Bastards.

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