British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 962

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 31 2012, 3:32 PM BST

But as dellas once pointed out, women look at your crotch and then your shoes, so it's best that they learn about the old, well worn, smelly, bits that are falling to pieces now.

That's no way to talk about dellas.

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ May 31 2012, 3:33 PM BST

That's no way to talk about your genitals.

I see that my subtlety wasn't wasted on you. ;)

Quote: Marc P @ May 31 2012, 3:14 PM BST

Where's your moustache gone???

It's Shaving Thursday, silly.

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ May 31 2012, 3:35 PM BST

I see that my edit was wasted on you, though.

Such is the way of all things created retroactively.

I knew you were going to say that.

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ May 31 2012, 3:38 PM BST

I knew you were going to say that.

Laughing out loud

I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around the concept of a summer jacket.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 31 2012, 3:19 PM BST

Yes, it's my own fault for going into BHS on Oxford Street and expecting the womenfolk to look where they're going instead of wandering about like drunken distracted zombies staring at bits of crap. Just buy your shit and f**k off.

Women, eh? I berate myself every day when I wake up and look down at my body.

Quote: DaButt @ May 31 2012, 3:41 PM BST

I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around the concept of a summer jacket.

Just imagine RC at Henley, sipping Pimms in the "Whites Only" tent, and you're halfway there.

Quote: Booo @ May 31 2012, 3:36 PM BST

It's Shaving Thursday, silly.

:O

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 31 2012, 3:32 PM BST

What colour do you think sand is? Sand coloured you mong.

;) :P

Stop being so bloody poncey. If you mean taupe, then say taupe.

One more, lest you think I've gone soft.

Queues and personal space. Why do people think it's acceptable to be so close behind someone as to be able to see what they've had for breakfast?
If I move forward it's not because I want you to move even closer to me.

Once I turned around and asked the woman behind me if she wanted me to pick her up and have her sit on my shoulders whilst we waited for the bus.

Which reminds me: public transport. I'll save it for another day.

Quote: Booo @ May 31 2012, 4:11 PM BST

One more, lest you think I've gone soft.

Queues and personal space. Why do people think it's acceptable to be so close behind someone as to be able to see what they've had for breakfast?
If I move forward it's not because I want you to move even closer to me.

Once I turned around and asked the woman behind me if she wanted me to pick her up and have her sit on my shoulders whilst we waited for the bus.

God, I wish I'd the nerve to do that. I only go so far as to move pointedly and put my hand over the machine when somebody stands too close at a check-out as I enter my pin number.

Quote: Booo @ May 30 2012, 10:37 PM BST

Or, "well, we've just paid for our items, let's have a story-of-my-life chat with the shop assistant and keep the next person waiting.

Last week the till-tart stopped scanning stuff and started up a conversation with someone who was standing behind me. As if it wasn't enraging enough to have her making me wait, she was virtually looking through me as I wasn't even there. Completely ignorant.

Maybe she'd overheard you calling her a till-tart.

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