British Comedy Guide

General, General Thread Page 2,441

My daughter had a few of these mags and they didn't worry me then - they are aimed at little girls, when everything pink and glittery is very important.

What counts is how you guide girls into understanding/knowing there is a lot more out there to aspire to, and how you educate them.

I am pleased to say she's grown out of that phase, though she still wants to be a vet. Still, think of all the free bills if she does go ahead with it.

I liked pink, and sparkly things (still do) but I was never into that fluffy, fairy, I love horses, I want to be a beautician stuff when I was little. Makes me shudder.

Quote: zooo @ May 28 2012, 9:56 PM BST

Would you want your little girl reading that crap though?
Not even just for 'feminism' reasons. Just generally. All that fluffy pink fairy shit makes me gag.

I don't think I'd have a choice. As much as I like to subjugate women and bend them to my indomitable will, I know from my 5 year old neice, that she likes what she likes, even if I think it's fluffy pink fairy shit.

Like it or not, 9 times out of 10, little girls will go for the cutesy pink option. Not allowing them to play fairy, princess, supermarket checkout girl, etc. will only backfire on you.

Yeah I know. I would end up with the most useless girly excuse for a daughter ever. And however much I tried to gay up my son it wouldn't work. (Which is why I shan't bother.) ;)

Quote: zooo @ May 28 2012, 10:07 PM BST

And however much I tried to gay up my son it wouldn't work.

This is an area which does raise my ire somewhat, especially from 'right on' single mothers who come out with crap like 'everyone was really surprised that I let Noah wear a dress, it was his choice, he liked the colour'.

No, no and no. If you want to raise a boy who will get beaten up at school every single day, have the piss constantly taken out of him, destroy his confidence and force him into a feminine role on the off chance he'll grow up queer and take dick in the ass, then you are a bad mother.

My list of bad middle class parents -

1. Not re-enforcing gender roles
2. Not letting kids have a McDonalds
3. Not letting kids have sugar
4. Not letting kids watch television
5. No violent toys
6. Bringing your children on political demos and protests

Bad parent. Bad, bad parent.

If I *was* going to gay up my son (which I wouldn't actually do, obviously) it wouldn't involve wearing dresses. That's transvestitising your son, if anything, not gaying. :)

Don't gay your son, zooo. He may murder a fat girl using a photo frame.

Quote: zooo @ May 28 2012, 10:25 PM BST

If I *was* going to gay up my son (which I wouldn't actually do, obviously) it wouldn't involve wearing dresses. That's transvestitising your son, if anything, not gaying. :)

Well as long as you have a solid plan to make your offspring homosexual, who am I to to argue?

Oh god, if my son was Ben Mitchell I'd hit myself in the head with a photo frame.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 28 2012, 10:28 PM BST

Well as long as you have a solid plan to make your offspring homosexual, who am I to to argue?

Exactly!

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 28 2012, 10:28 PM BST

Well as long as you have a solid plan to make your offspring homosexual, who am I to to argue?

It didn't hurt you, did it R.C? Well, only once anyway.

Quote: Lee @ May 28 2012, 10:29 PM BST

It didn't hurt you, did it R.C? Well, only once anyway.

It's my Mum I feel sorry for. She thought it would be like off the telly, with me bringing home a nice young man and it being all charming and cute and sweet. Little did she realise that it was all poppers, fisting and leather bears.

We did manage to keep the golden shower action to the bathroom though, because we're considerate.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 28 2012, 10:32 PM BST

Little did she realise that it was all poppers, fisting and leather bears.

You went to Scouts too? :)

Quote: Lee @ May 28 2012, 10:34 PM BST

You went to Scouts too? :)

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

History......as never before stated

Insight into the minds of 6th graders: The following were answers provided by 6th graders during history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the best humour is in the misspelling.

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw Java.

7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.

11. Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.

12. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

13. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

14. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

15. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin, which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor.This ruined Booth's career.

16. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

17. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

18. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits.

19. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species.

20. Madman Curie discovered the radio.

21.Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers

Brilliant stuff there.

(what are they being taught?!)

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