KI - Zuckerman

Mark - How does it feel to be Mrs. Mark Zuckerman?

Priscilla - Priscilla likes this

Mark - I'm so glad you accepted my marriage request. I'll go get some champagne

Priscilla - Can we afford it?

BOTH laugh. MARK exits. TOM enters

Priscilla -Tom, what are you doing here?

Tom - So you've gone through with it? Why? You could have been Mrs. Tom OffaMyspace

Priscilla - You had your chance. I was with you for most of the nineties

Tom - Then he came along, and took everything I had. My friends and you. Why?

Priscilla - He offered me more.

Tom - Like what?

Priscilla - You never let me poke

Tom - We said we'd never talk about that again!

Priscilla - You should go. He'll me back soon

Tom -What if I wait. What if I want to see him face to myspce and throw a punch right at his smug face?

Priscilla - Then he'll block you. Go

Tom - Can I ask you something?

Priscilla - Of course

Tom - Can I lend my bus fair?

END

Hmm. There is a good idea in here and a good sketch trying its best to break out. The Facebook/MySpace/with me 'for most of the 90s' is good, not that keen on the poking bits and don't get the 'bus fare' bit.

It needs a bit more substance and more gags.

[Mark Zuckerberg] 'makes me Appy. You don't make me Appy.'?

Plus he's a multi-multi-billionaire as a big ending.

Dan

I like the Appy bit and a better ending. and the busfare thing was trying to imply hes poor now, but don't think it worked

Quote: blahblah @ May 28 2012, 3:47 PM BST

I like the Appy bit and a better ending. and the busfare thing was trying to imply hes poor now, but don't think it worked

View original

Especially because it should be:
Tom - Can I BORROW my bus fair?

Quote: billwill @ May 28 2012, 3:54 PM BST

Especially because it should be:
Tom - Can I BORROW my bus fair?

View original

we don't speak proper in north east

Quote: blahblah @ May 28 2012, 3:55 PM BST

we don't speak proper in north east

View original

Maybe, but it confuses the punch line & destroys its impact, so in this case it might be best to use the rigth word

Quote: billwill @ May 28 2012, 4:00 PM BST

Maybe, but it confuses the punch line & destroys its impact, so in this case it might be best to use the rigth word

View original

<irony alert!>

Dan