British Comedy Guide

The all-in-one consolidatory football thread Page 368

Quote: Jamey @ May 23 2012, 6:48 PM BST

In related news, looks like a twelve match ban for scouse thug Joey Barton next season.

Not really much point in QPR keeping him considering he would miss just under a third of the premier league season.

If he were to move to a foreign team would he be able to play?

Who'd have him?

I'd have him at United if he didn't have such a big ban.

He is a quality player, if a foreign team wanted him they would have a lot of leverage due to the fact his ban is so huge.

No one will want him and we will be stuck with him.

Quote: Jamey @ May 23 2012, 6:48 PM BST

In related news, looks like a twelve match ban for scouse thug Joey Barton next season.

Not really much point in QPR keeping him considering he would miss just under a third of the premier league season.

If he were to move to a foreign team would he be able to play?

And MSN has posted the following rubbish. Please add your comments.

DO YOU THINK FOOTBALL NEEDS 'CHARACTERS' LIKE JOEY BARTON? WOULD IT BE DULL WITHOUT HIM? LET US KNOW YOUR VIEWS IN THE COMMENTS BELOW. JOIN THE DEBATE ON TWITTER USING THE HASHTAG

Quote: Jamey @ May 23 2012, 7:11 PM BST

I'd have him at United if he didn't have such a big ban.

He is a quality player, if a foreign team wanted him they would have a lot of leverage due to the fact his ban is so huge.

I f**king knew it. Manchester United have no scruples whatsoever!

Quote: Will Cam @ May 23 2012, 7:33 PM BST

No one will want him and we will be stuck with him.

You can sack him for gross misconduct.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ May 22 2012, 7:29 AM BST

I think it's the probably the best lager in the world, myself. Nice clean tasts and a lot less gassy than Fosters. I love it.

Yes - but who wants to drink lager? No flavour and full of gas. That's not what you get in real beer!

Quote: Jamey @ May 22 2012, 5:14 PM BST

The flavour of watered down piss must be an acquired taste.

Amazing! I actually agree with you on something!

Quote: Chappers @ May 24 2012, 5:00 PM BST

And MSN has posted the following rubbish. Please add your comments.

DO YOU THINK FOOTBALL NEEDS 'CHARACTERS' LIKE JOEY BARTON? WOULD IT BE DULL WITHOUT HIM? LET US KNOW YOUR VIEWS IN THE COMMENTS BELOW. JOIN THE DEBATE ON TWITTER USING THE HASHTAG

....

I f**king knew it. Manchester United have no scruples whatsoever!

.....

Amazing! I actually agree with you on something!

Football doesn't "need" players like JB. The media does though.

....

If Barton came to United Sir Alex would turn him into a saint :P

.....

Don't get used to it :P

Quote: Jamey @ May 24 2012, 5:50 PM BST

If Barton came to United Sir Alex would turn him into a saint :P

Are you implying that SAF is some of kind of fottball whisperer? Maybe the old hairdryer isn't as hot as it used to be...

Quote: Jamey @ May 24 2012, 5:50 PM BST

If Barton came to United Sir Alex would turn him into a saint :P

He didn't manage it with Keane, Cantona and Rooney did he!

Quote: Chappers @ May 24 2012, 5:00 PM BST

.

Yes - but who wants to drink lager?

Most beer drinkers. = Hundreds of millions.

Quote: Jamey @ May 24 2012, 5:50 PM BST

Football doesn't "need" players like JB. The media does though.

Define what you mean by 'football'. I think the FA and FIFA and EUFA really don't want confrontational players like him, but does that mean football doesn't want or need the harder type of player? I'm not sure about that. The governing bodies think they own the soul of football but they don't, the players and the fans do.

If FIFA had their way, only Brazil would be allowed to win the World Cup, always beating sides like Germany or Italy in the final. If EUFA had their way only Barcelona would be allowed to win the CL, beating teams like Chelsea in the final. They want fine champagne football played by cosmopolitan teams all the time, and actually, some fans are sick of this. Why? Because football once had a steelier, grittier edge to it, and some people actually long for that manlier edge to come back.

How often do you see a full blooded Stuart Pearce type sliding tackle in football now? It's virtually disappeared because the idiot governing bodies have refereed it out of the game. Now all you see is endless bactracking and blocking, and that's not really what football was supposed to be! Ban thugs by all means but please do not ban physical full blooded football, but ofcourse, it's too late, it almost already is. :(

Can anyone help Sepp out with an idea?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/18205513

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ May 25 2012, 8:35 AM BST

They want fine champagne football played by cosmopolitan teams all the time, and actually, some fans are sick of this. Why? Because football once had a steelier, grittier edge to it, and some people actually long for that manlier edge to come back.

As we've lost so many players over the last few of seasons due to broken legs - with Sagna being the latest casualty - you can stick your lower division, no skill, Sunday league, career ending, football up your bum.

Quote: Oldrocker @ May 25 2012, 11:15 AM BST

Can anyone help Sepp out with an idea?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/18205513

Stop being such a corrupt, sexist, racist, arrogant, turncoat prick?

Or is that not what he was asking for advice on?

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ May 25 2012, 11:20 AM BST

As we've lost so many players over the last few of seasons due to broken legs - with Sagna being the latest casualty - you can stick your lower division, no skill, Sunday league, career ending, football up your bum.

Yes, but low quality football is not what I meant! I mean top class players being allowed to tackle without getting booked every time the other fairy falls over! And good strong centre forwards being able to challenge for the ball in the goal area without getting penalised all the time. You still ban the thugs who just want to cripple people, but let the good, physical style players actually play their game, like they did 20 years ago.

There's far too much tippy tappy airyfairyness going in football at the mo, and at some clubs more than others! Who's your team again? Whistling nnocently

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ May 25 2012, 11:55 AM BST

There's far too much tippy tappy airyfairyness going in football at the mo, and at some clubs more than others!

Let me see if I can get your argument straight - you are complaining that there is too much actual football in football and not enough leg kicking? You do realise that if you go and watch any sub-Premiership game, particularly Division 2 stuff, there is loads of leg kicking?

But wait, I would imagine that you are angry that there isn't enough leg kicking in the Premiership? You want to see the most highly paid and highly skilled footballers in the world not play football? You would rather games were decided by which team is the 'hardest'?

So in short, you are complaining that there is too much world class football being played at the upper levels in England and you want it to be like 20 years ago where boozed up idiots kicked shit out of each other every Saturday?

I think you might be getting pub car parks mixed up with football.

Hmm, while I do find tinges of your extremist misrendering of my viewpoint pleasingly nostalgic, overall, in a word, no, funnily enough, that isn't what I was saying.

I love world class football too, but I'd love to include world class tackling, world class arial centre forward play and world class crossing. Three major facets of the old game which have been all but phased out of the modern game at the top level.

Lovely touchy tappy passing by teams like Arselona and Barsenal may have become the vogue in top football and loved by the Platinis and Blatters who run the game, but to let these gilded prima donas prance about the park scott free like some untouchable star ballet dancer while a decent defender schooled in the ancient art of well timed sliding tackles isn't allowed to get within an inch of him, isn't really my idea of how the game should be played, even at the very highest level.

It seems that if an 'untouchable' such as Messi is touched at the moment, then the refs and team mates round up on the villain that dared touch him and vie to have him sent off. Crazy stuff! He should learn, just like the greatest players of them all did, like Best, Pele, Maradona, to waltz around them or outsmart them. Not go down like a fairy ballet dancer shot with a rifle while prancing about on his tippytoes. Like they do now :)

I agree Alfred

When I was at school and playing for the school football team, we were taught how to avoid sliding tackles - two footed or not.

The tackler was still laid on the floor as we skipped on towards goal.
Not as now where the tackler and attacker are usually both laid out in a moribund state.

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