My granddaughter is doing a ‘Performing Arts’ course at college
Every month they have a ‘Revue’. All students are expected to do ‘something’
I have written this sketch for her and her friend.
SCENE: IMAGINARY DOCTORS SURGERY.
PROP: ONE SMALL PILL BOX, IN MISS SCROGGINS POCKET.
MISS SCROGGINS PRETENDS TO KNOCK ON FICTITIOUS DOOR
STAMPING HER FOOT TO IMITATE THE SOUND.
Dr FEELGOOD:
Come in.
MISS SCROGGINS TURNS FICTITIOUS DOOR HANDLE.
DOOR WON’T OPEN, SHE TRIES AGAIN, BUT SAME RESULT.
SHE BARGES DOOR WITH HER SHOULDER, IT DOESN’T OPEN.
SHE ‘KUNG FU’S’ THE DOOR. IT DOESN’T OPEN.
Dr FEELGOOD
Pull.
MISS SCROGGINS OPENS, WALKS THROUGH AND CLOSES FICTITIOUS DOOR.
Dr FEELGOOD
Miss Scroggins, come and sit down, and say ah.
MISS SCROGGINS.
Why?
Dr FEELGOOD
My dog died.
MISS SCROGGINS
Doctor, I keep stealing things. I can’t help it
Dr FEELGOOD
The medical term for that is kleptomania,
A person whom commits kleptomania, is a kleptomaniac,
Basically, you’re a maniac.
I want you to take these pills.
Dr FEELGOOD SEARCHES FICTITIOUS DRAWER IN FICTITIOUS DESK.
MISS SCROGGINS HOLDS OUT HER HAND, PALM UP, ON PALM IS PILL BOX.
Dr FEELGOOD.
Take two a day for a month.
MISS SCROGGINS
Will they cure me doctor?
Dr FEELGOOD.
If they don’t ,
Get me a plasma TV, will you?
(have I done it,yeah) 
