British Comedy Guide

The threads that need to go to bed!

So how often do you turn on BCG and find a bunch of annoying, irritating threads that you think.

Grrr goto bed thread!

Well here's a bunch of them so no one need start a new one again.

1 Hello I'm planning on starting a brilliant new funny thing. I have no idea what it is, nor am I intending to do any work on it. But if you could write, produce and perform this funny thing I am half heartedly contemplating. Then I may give you some credit. Alternatively I may just flick my crusty sock at the squirrel sitting outside my window.

2 Hello I have just written a sitcom. I think it is the funniest thing ever but how do I get the BBC to produce it. To prevent it being stolen I have never written it down or discussed it. I was thinking of cutting my head off and freezing it in carbonite before sending it by Redstar to the BBC. Where they can extract my comedy by MRI. Could you please give me all of your contacts so I can become rich and famous and laugh at you.

3 Hello we are the funny fellas. A podcast of 289 university friends (we're all women ironic eh) who've been making a podcast since 1923 (orginally on Bakelite and now on Dorise's ipad what were grandson bought her). We have 2,300,990 episodes covering 345,668,900 hours of material. Which mostly involves us saying bum, making farting noises and reading the whole of the Great Gatsby in Welsh. Could you please listen to all the episodes, tell us how great it is and then get it on Radio4's womans hour.

4 Hello I love Dad's Army. Sexually. Please tell me where I can meet 24 elderly fellows in WW2 uniforms so I can stick it up them.

5 Hello I took rather a large amount of mescaline last week. Could you please tell me in which episode of Terry and June, Terry climbed through my TV screen and ate my eye balls. Whilst June sang the theme from Red Dwarf.

Yeah, damn the people who come on wanting to talk about comedy. Damn their
inexperience and entheusiasm. Damn them.

Soots has been bottling that up for nearly 35,000 posts. :)

6 Hello BCG I am a person of limited sense of humour, with a lot of time on my hands. I also have an intense dislike of people who have a sense of humour bordering on a generalised Coulrophobia. I just thought I'd pop in and make some snide remarks. Leave and return again. And return again.

PS I think sexism is wrong.

7 Hello I am moving home to a long stay institution for the criminally insane. I have a large collection of memorabilia from the golden age of comedy. Including sputum, skin flakes and blood from various celebrities.
I also have the decapitated corpse of Eddie the dog from Fraser (signed by Kelsey Grammar) all reasonable offers considered.

Quote: Tuumble @ May 14 2012, 11:23 AM BST

Soots has been bottling that up for nearly 35,000 posts. :)

Holy banans only 21 off the big 35,000!

[quote name="sootyj" post="875786" date="May 14 2012, 11:25 AM BST"]6 Hello BCG I am a person of limited sense of humour, with a lot of time on my hands.

rawyne, with all due respect, I believe you are the one that needs to go to bed...and get out on the right side for once :)

Quote: rwayne @ May 14 2012, 11:29 AM BST

[quote name="sootyj" post="875786" date="May 14 2012, 11:25 AM BST"]6 Hello BCG I am a person of limited sense of humour, with a lot of time on my hands.

Who doesn't know how to use the quote faccility

PS I also think racism is smelly and I am more sensitive then you will ever be.
Ha!

Quote: sootyj @ May 14 2012, 11:32 AM BST

Who doesn't know how to use the quote faccility

PS I also think racism is smelly and I am more sensitive then you will ever be.
Ha!

You're right I don't know how to use it properly. I barely know how to use the computer at all.

Still, you could have just put this in the other thread you just started about hating things?

That's irrational hatreds.

This is more justified mild irritation.

You're abbility to read and your abbility to use a computer would appear to be equally flawed.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ May 14 2012, 11:32 AM BST

rawyne, with all due respect, I believe you are the one that needs to go to bed...and get out on the right side for once :)

Thank you, I'll bear it in mind.

Quote: sootyj @ May 14 2012, 11:37 AM BST

That's irrational hatreds.

This is more justified mild irritation.

You're abbility to read and your abbility to use a computer would appear to be equally flawed.

How's my spelling?

It would seem a little irrational to start another thread about how angry you get with people you don't know and the things they write that you don't have to read don't you think?

What about:
"Here's my material, what do you think? Please be really, really honest, don't hold back with the constructive criticism; but don't actually say anything unless you say it's brilliant."

Quote: rwayne @ May 14 2012, 11:40 AM BST

How's my spelling?

Better than your joke telling

Quote: sootyj @ May 14 2012, 2:39 PM BST

Better than your joke telling

Took some thinking about but well done for putting the effort in.

I'm not aware of having made a joke nor did I know it was compulsory to try and be funny with every post. Must be quite tiring for those of us on here that post a lot!

I would question why one chooses to frequent such forums?

I mean it's not like I feel the need to spray the anally, retentive, kill joys forum with grade A humour do I?

Questioning why one does or says things is always healthy I would say.

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