I woke up one morning with a salty taste in my mouth. Someone had put a giant clam in it. Other people doubted it too.
Another gag - some get - some don't Page 3
It would seem that rather like sea buckthorn on the Great British menu, marshmallow/pillow gags aren't to everyones taste. I did like most of the variations, but then I would, being the father of this newsjack reject 
Quote: Ishy @ July 22 2010, 11:02 PM BSTDREAMY SOUNDING LADY
The other night I dreamt I was eating a large pillow. When I woke up in the morning my giant bag of marshmallows was gone.
Quote: Big Jack @ July 22 2010, 11:23 PM BSTBut undone by the pillow/marshmallow...
"DREAMY SOUNDING LADY
The other night I dreamt I was eating a large pillow. When I woke up in the morning my giant bag of marshmallows was gone."
This is the best variation, very clever.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant pillow
In the morning the Stay Puft marshmallowman was puttong 20 quid on the bedside cabinet
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant pillow. In the morning I woke up and found I'd gone to Manderley again.
More pillow talk.
'Last night I dreamt my wife was eating a pillow.
When I woke up she was suffocated.'
Quote: sootyj @ May 7 2012, 2:20 PM BSTLast night I dreamt I was eating a giant pillow
In the morning the Stay Puft marshmallowman was puttong 20 quid on the bedside cabinet
Last night I had the strangest dream
I'd ever dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war
I dreamed I saw a mighty room
Filled with women and men
And the paper they were signing said
They'd never fight again
And when the paper was all signed
And a million copies made
They all joined hands and bowed their heads
And grateful pray'rs were prayed
And the people in the streets below
Were dancing 'round and 'round
While swords and guns and uniforms
Were scattered on the ground
But in the morning I found I'd eaten my pillow.
And wet myself.
Quote: gappy @ May 7 2012, 2:32 PM BSTLast night I dreamt I was eating a giant pillow. In the morning I woke up and found I'd gone to Manderley again.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant pillow. Damn my dyslexia!
Last night I dreamt I was eating a succession of giant pillows, when I woke up I was on cloud nine.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant pillow. I woke up on a sheep farm.
Last night I dreamt I was eating an enormous pilau. I was. I had fallen asleep in the Indian restaurant.
Quote: Marc P @ May 7 2012, 3:26 PM BSTLast night I dreamt I was eating an enormous pilau. I was. I had fallen asleep in the Indian restaurant.
That reminded me of some sketch or sitcom where pilau was coming out of the person's nose whilst asleep. I can't think of the name of the show or film, whatever it was.
Actually, maybe I just dreamt it.
Last night I dreamt I tag f**ked the whole of Bucksfizz
In the morning turns out I'd been in the land of make believe
@ Stephen - it is a good gag - an excellent meta joke ("What have I got if I have a cricket ball in my left hand and a cricket ball in my right hand?" A: A very old joke.")
@ the majority of variants - not an improvement (except perhaps the gang raped with father filming it) because the joke is the meta joke and all the additions take away from the purity of the meta joke. OK, it hasn't worked if you don't recall the original (which is way, way old and well known) - but the joke is that it is a variant of the original.
@ Ishy - yeah - loved the Joanna Lumley joke, but marked you down on the pillow gag because my flatmate told me "Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant pillow and this morning my marshmallow had gone"...in 1988.
@ the world.
Patient: Doctor doctor, I feel like I'm a bridge.
Doctor: What's come over you?
Patient: John Terry.
Last night I dreamt that I'd eaten a willow, I woke up weeping.