Will Cam is feeling frisky!
Status report Page 4,436
I've just replied to one of the frequent annoying emails I get from agencies wanting work...
Jeremy
Here we go again you sigh; 'another email from another agency that wants to work with us'.
Hi - you have rather given me that 'sigh' yourself purely by the way you opened your email.
So...Let's spare the 'why we're different' speech and get down to brass tacks; I'm sure you have communication agency arrangements in place but there may be projects or you may even have a pitch coming up. We'd like to be considered for either.
Yep, lets throw in a cliché or two. You might be sure we have arrangements in place but that's not the case. We do almost all our work in house though we have used agencies in the past for press release distribution, and occasionally for the writing of releases if workloads don't permit us to do it ourselves.
We are a successful communications specialist. Our clients include ____, ____, ____ to name a few. They're not just 'logos on a client list' but clients who really rely on us. You can see some work here www.______.com
It's not all about big projects either, it's about being responsive, alert and being able to turn on a sixpence that gives our clients, big and small, the service they deserve. Service and value are at the heart of everything we do.
All very nice but I've only got this far in the email because I've forced myself to read the message. I would expect you to be resonsive but 'alert' makes you sound like a hunting hound on Red Bull. Also, being able to turn on a sixpence is refering to a coin no longer in circulation and is a phrase more at home on the football field.
As I said, what you are offering I would expect as a matter of course - what makes you different? (Other than being a hyperactive hound dog spinning itself silly somehwere on the Wembley turf)
We're a lean, well run agency with an agile network of senior communication consultants, with experience & proven expertise across a wide range or sectors and disciplines.
Now, I'm picturing you all jumping around the room like Spiderman training for the decathlon.
I look forward to speaking with you soon to see if we can present our ideas as to how we could approach your challenges and solve the issues you are currently facing.
My issues? Well, now you ask I've been battling depression since the death of my goldfish when I was nine...
Quote: Tursiops @ May 1 2012, 8:40 AM BSTA couple of days later I received a phone call to say that the contractor had parted with the employee "after a number of complaints". Was I still interested in switching to them?
Ha Ha. Serves him right. I've also got to the point where I don't speak to the Amnesty/ Greenpeace or other charity people on the street. Most of them are probably nice but I got sick of been verbaly abused when I declined to sign up for monthly donations.
Quote: Ben @ April 30 2012, 6:18 PM BSTLooking at my parent's marriage certificate - it just happens to be here - and my mother's 'condition' back in the early 70s was 'spinster'.
Erm, that entry is completely normal, it simply means an unmarried woman.
I thought it meant she was a spider.
Quote: Badge @ May 1 2012, 1:26 PM BSTI thought it meant she was a spider.
It's weird that we use such a nasty, spidery name for unmarried women, especially since women are usually at their loveliest before marriage (after which they turn into obese nagging harridans, of course). We should replace the word with something soft and gorgeous.
Quote: Nogget @ May 1 2012, 1:34 PM BSTIt's weird that we use such a nasty, spidery name for unmarried women, especially since women are usually at their loveliest before marriage (after which they turn into obese nagging harridans, of course). We should replace the word with something soft and gorgeous.
It's perfectly normal, though an old-fashioned word now, it's also part of the Marriage Banns (announced in the parish church? ) ..... "Spinster of this Parish" etc.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banns_of_marriage
The origin of the word is from spinning wool to make cloth, not from spiders 
Snatchelors?
Sorry!
Quote: Badge @ May 1 2012, 1:26 PM BSTI thought it meant she was a spider.
Can I steal? I'm writing a song about spiders
Does it end with them all going back to their home planet?
Scary alien bastards.
Quote: zooo @ May 1 2012, 2:49 PM BSTDoes it end with them all going back to their home planet?
Scary alien bastards.
Quote: AJGO @ May 1 2012, 2:48 PM BST
Sure, is it for the web?
Doesn't seem to be getting any smaller, still...scarier mind!
They are probably from a similar planet. But they at least don't come and get you in your bed. They have the decency to live in the water and keep out of my bloody way.
Quote: Badge @ May 1 2012, 2:57 PM BSTSure, is it for the web?
>_< *Adds to song*
Quote: zooo @ May 1 2012, 2:49 PM BSTDoes it end with them all going back to their home planet?
Scary alien bastards.
Haven't got that far yet. They are being restrained from scary spider action for the harmonious co-existence of humans and spiders though