British Comedy Guide

Things that piss you off Page 924

In breaking news Texas has declared war on the law of gravity.

To date 300 patriotic Texans have died jumping off of high buildings determined to

"Not be held by no darn Federal, unconstitutional law of physics."

In other news 23 trampoline stores have been torched. And a man was shot dead for reading "Gravities Rainbow"in a suspicious manner.

Quote: DaButt @ April 19 2012, 3:01 PM BST

Texas being Texas, we're fighting back against the federal ban on incandescent bulbs:

People have a lot of time on their hands in Texas?

I'll say this for the energy saving lightbulbs, they last a hell of a long time. And yeah, they may not have the full 100w, cornea burnring, 10,000 candle power, that puts most lighthouses to shame of the old type, but how much light do you need anyways?

I'm all for fighting against 'progress by any means', but it's only a light bulb, I'll live.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ April 19 2012, 4:51 PM BST

how much light do you need anyways?

You need, if you're visually impaired, more light than is provided by these fluorescent ones.

Quote: Nogget @ April 19 2012, 4:54 PM BST

You need, if you're visually impaired, more light than is provided by these fluorescent ones.

Can't the Magoos just tape a torch to their heads?

You can buy small torches that tie round your head. Somebody offered me a loan of one for backstage work but I was too vain to wear it.

Quote: keewik @ April 19 2012, 4:59 PM BST

You can buy small torches that tie round your head. Somebody offered me a loan of one for backstage work but I was too vain to wear it.

I think they look quite fetching - look as this stud of a muffin -

Image

Let's face it RC, you love these crappy bulbs because the visually impaired will have more accidents.
You beast.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ April 19 2012, 5:03 PM BST

I think they look quite fetching - look as this stud of a muffin -

Image

I thought you didn't like posting pictures of yourself.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ April 19 2012, 4:51 PM BST

I'll say this for the energy saving lightbulbs, they last a hell of a long time.

And so does the mercury they deposit in the landfill. ;)

A seldom-used ceiling fan in my living room had 4 incandescent bulbs that had been going strong since I bought my house almost 5 years ago. I replaced them with compact fluorescent bulbs on a whim and a month later 2 have died. Angry

Quote: Lazzard @ April 19 2012, 9:59 AM BST

Energy saving lightbulbs.
More specifically, those people who say they can't see any difference in the light quality and that I should get over it.

If you've got one of those Touch Lamps they don't work. They just stay on all the time.

Quote: reds @ April 19 2012, 1:33 PM BST

FACEBOOK

Some bright spark has decided I now want want emails every time someone updates a photo or their status. The status updates appear in the subject line.

IF I want to know what people are doing I will log into my account.

Yes - it is bollox!

Quote: Nogget @ April 19 2012, 5:20 PM BST

Let's face it RC, you love these crappy bulbs because the visually impaired will have sex with you.
You beast.

:O

Laughing out loud

Yvette Cooper (now on 'Question Time'). Utter soor-faced pain in the arse and she has alien stary eyes.

I hadn't noticed her due to the enormous twunt endlessly chuntering on about himself at the other end of the table.

I've only just moved over. Which one (which implies there are many)?

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