British Comedy Guide

Add the punch-line. Page 10

A man walks in on his cheating wife..

MAN:
I saw you take £500 out of the bank and two little green houses.. tsk!

Quote: steve @ January 17, 2008, 9:46 PM

Husband: "Where is he?"

Wife: "I was watching a movie."

Husband pointing finger " Yer lyin` yer bitch `n the wardbrobe?"

Wife : " Yeah thats the one."

Very good! (Had to read it twice though)

Roscoff, you have to pick a winner. ;)

Quote: David Chapman @ January 18, 2008, 9:51 PM

Very good! (Had to read it twice though)

David, you have to read telephone numbers twice, keep up man!

Oh shit! Give us a mo. :O

Ok, liked a lot of these but..... James you ran a close second. Steve and the wardrobe thing did it for me.

Who me? Shucks :$

Two comedians fighting in church...

Two comedians fighting in church...

as Dawn French refused to let Ardal O'Hanlon claim Father Ted is the greatest religious-based sitcom of all time.

EDIT: Oh dear, that is so awful...but you know when you get an idea and you can't think of any better ones cus you've got the stupid one in your mind...

Two comedians fighting in church... Jesus looked cross

Two comedians fighting in a church...
Comedian 1
(Kicks Comedian 2 in the shins)I am a writer.God loves me more because I am better than you.

Comedian2
(Punches comedian 1 in the face, comedian 1 falls to the floor) Ha ha ha ha ha. Stand up. I win.

COMEDIAN 1
God save arse souls!
You had the pastor for lunch and then the parson's nose for tea?

COMEDIAN 2
So. It's a dirty habit.

COMEDIAN 1
You'll be in the bowels of Hell for ever.

COMEDIAN 2
Ooh, promises, promises.

PRIEST 1
Father, who are those two young men fighting?

PRIEST 2
They are two of the writers of the hit bbc 1 show 'My Family'

PRIEST 1
Yes but why are they fighting?

PRIEST 2
They came for confession. However there sins are too many and I told them that I could absolve one, but the other had to die.

PRIEST 1
You really are going soft Father. God's lenient, but not in cases like this.

Quote: Rob B @ January 21, 2008, 4:14 PM

They are two of the writers of the hit bbc 1 show 'My Family'

I thought it was supposed to be "comedians" fighting...of course, that is kind of the point you're making, but still... :)

After they'd crucified the punchline

Quote: steve @ January 21, 2008, 2:13 PM

Two comedians fighting in church...

Priest
You can't fight in here gentlemen, this isn't a mosque

PRIEST: Gentlemen, gentlemen please this is a church, if you must brawl take it outside. Why are you fighting anyway?

GERVAIS: Because him there Jack deadpan Dee said I died at the concert for Diana gig.

DEE: You bloody did I’m telling you!

PRIEST: Please stop this now! Now I want you both to shake hands...that’s better...now Jack, go with God my son. And Ricky, rest in peace.

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