Why is Mothercare like a uterus?
Because it's full of bloody baby shit and a c**t to get in and out of.
Howzat?!
Laugh with the Uterus Week! Page 2
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ March 29 2012, 5:56 PM BSTWhy is Mothercare like a uterus?
Because it's full of bloody baby shit and a c**t to get in and out of.
Howzat?!
Inaccurate
Quote: AJGO @ March 29 2012, 7:16 PM BSTInaccurate
It's the best womb based joke I could come up with and I don't even have a uterus.
Of course, those with the requisite biological baby oven can do much better - so let's here it.
Is that your excuse for rubbing your face against women's bodies? 'Honest guv, I was trying to hear the uterus'
Quote: AJGO @ March 29 2012, 8:35 PM BSTIs that your excuse for rubbing your face against women's bodies?
Like I need an excuse.
Wish you hadn't used that emoticon.
May I refer you to the 'people getting sent to prison' conversation over in News thread? 
These jokes are new to us.
They are to the newborn!
Is this one of those proselytising "buy me" threads?
Or is it just for belly-laughs?
'Cause I've tried to think of a non-blokey uterus joke, but I just don't have the stomach for it..
Q: Is that a banana in your frontal papoose carrybag, or are you just pleased to see me?
A: No, I'm pregnant.
My nextdoor neighbour had an affair with a Parcelforce delivery man.. and now she's six weeks overdue..
Q: How many Thelemites does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 93.
Heard a similar one 'He came through the letter- box' !
What do you call the smallest one in the litter whose completely obnoxious? A c*nt
I love feminists and that's my contribution to their continued existance
My dogs got no nose
Who cares it's a female how wide can it's uterus expand?
Quote: zooo @ March 29 2012, 3:27 PM BST(Did you want me to change the thread title to that, or are you okay with it the way it is?)
If you could change it to 'laugh with' I'd be much obliged. Thanks. :-)
I like the Mother-care Joke! :-)
I can see why peeps are having a problem coming up with non-blokey type jokes. Guys seem to have a non verbal dialogue going on with their penis, and it's funny when you put it into words. Of course, there's a non-verbal dialog women have with their uterus too - only you rarely hear a women talking about it... with one exception. Mills and Boon romances! These are just reading porn for nice young women. :-)
Those books talk about the blood rushing down to our uteri in pulsing waves of pleasure, and about lighting flashes of desire (from our uterus) that make us gasp in surprise. They don't usually talk about the inevitable wet knickers and the little "stop it, stop it, stop it" dialogue a woman may have with her uterus when a completely inappropriate a pair of eyes looks into yours... and just grabs you by the uterus - "shit, shit, shit, he's a celibate/gay/vicar/Buddhist monk/married guy of my best friend etc..."
Just saying... maybe the jokes would follow more easily if you got to the dialog of that relationship a woman has with her uterus? :-)
You didn't like the lightbulb one? I spent nearly 20 whole seconds on that.. 
(((((((
Quote: Janette Fraser @ March 30 2012, 1:56 PM BSTIf you could change it to 'laugh with' I'd be much obliged. Thanks. :-)
I like the Mother-care Joke! :-)
I can see why peeps are having a problem coming up with non-blokey type jokes. Guys seem to have a non verbal dialogue going on with their penis, and it's funny when you put it into words. Of course, there's a non-verbal dialog women have with their uterus too - only you rarely hear a women talking about it... with one exception. Mills and Boon romances! These are just reading porn for nice young women. :-)
Those books talk about the blood rushing down to our uteri in pulsing waves of pleasure, and about lighting flashes of desire (from our uterus) that make us gasp in surprise. They don't usually talk about the inevitable wet knickers and the little "stop it, stop it, stop it" dialogue a woman may have with her uterus when a completely inappropriate a pair of eyes looks into yours... and just grabs you by the uterus - "shit, shit, shit, he's a celibate/gay/vicar/Buddhist monk/married guy of my best friend etc..."
Just saying... maybe the jokes would follow more easily if you got to the dialog of that relationship a woman has with her uterus? :-)
Can I just ask, out of interest, for myself (other people may be wondering too though) what the bloody hell are you on about?