British Comedy Guide

Laugh with the Uterus Week!

93,

I usually post to the Thelemite forums (and Heruraha.net) but this week we're having a 'Laugh at the Uterus!' week. :-) It started after we were considering sexual repression in different countries and we read a recent article on Cracked.com (http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html) where the author had fun with 'Darth-Penis' jokes etc.

Well - as much as we all love Penis and sperm jokes, it seems that Uteri are apparently not a laughing matter! There are thousands of jokes about 'The Penis', and the journey of Sperm, but there are very few good jokes about 'the womb with a view' on the net, and no-one is laughing at the Uterus yet! :-)

Now this comes at a time when groups of women in the U.S.A are frantically knitting Uteri for their republican congressmen, and all sorts of weiiiird stuff is going down, so I'm asking all you funny people to help us out and make us 'laugh at the Uterus!' :-)

I'm not funny except by accident but this was my effort:

"Three Uteri walk into a bar,
One Uterus remarks "During my last pregnancy I expanded to five times my usual size!"
Another one says "During my last booking, I provided my guest with a swimming pool!"
And the third Uterus said: "That's nothing. Nothing! The last time I expanded to six times my usual size, laid on an olympic size swimming pool, and there was fish on the menu every night!"

I'd love to see what you can come up with. :-)

Alrah. 93 93/93.

Hi.
What's all this 93 business?

Aleister Crowley wanted all Thelemites to start our letters with - "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law" and end our letters with "Love is the law, love under will." But Frater Achad discovered this enumerated to those '93's' - so now we just write them instead for brevities sake. :-)

*goes to Wiki Thelemites*

Ah. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thelema
Well that's different! :)

Aparently 70s funk band Hot Chocolate liked the uterus.

"Uterus are everything...."

Quote: zooo @ March 29 2012, 2:24 PM BST

*goes to Wiki Thelemites*

Ah. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thelema
Well that's different! :)

We're only 100 years old but we're growing as a movement around the world and have several fraternity orders as well as plenty of people that fly solo and do their own thing. A good podcast show is heard at: http://speechinthesilence.com/

It's a very inclusive philosophy in the round. :-)

Quote: sootyj @ March 29 2012, 2:31 PM BST

Aparently 70s funk band Hot Chocolate liked the uterus.

"Uterus are everything...."

I remember Hot Chocolate! I was a kid when they were doing their stuff on Top of the Pops! Boy... that was a while ago.

There must be some good modern material in something that expands to 5 times it's size, provides an on-suit swimming pool and sends out babies into the world? Don't ya think? :-)

Btw - I'm told it should be 'Laugh with the Uterus Week!' instead of 'at'. :-)

Laughing 'with' is better than laughing 'at'... although if someone could tell me how to laugh 'with' the Penis I'd be much obliged. :D

Quote: Janette Fraser @ March 29 2012, 3:13 PM BST

Btw - I'm told it should be 'Laugh with the Uterus Week!' instead of 'at'. :-)

Laughing 'with' is better than laughing 'at'... although if someone could tell me how to laugh 'with' the Penis I'd be much obliged. :D

I'm not sure why this has stayed in my memory, it's a little worrying tbh.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/9712/4363#P862789

Interesting Cracked article, thanks :)

www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html

(Working link for those too lazy to cut and paste)

Quote: Janette Fraser @ March 29 2012, 3:13 PM BST

Btw - I'm told it should be 'Laugh with the Uterus Week!' instead of 'at'. :-)

(Did you want me to change the thread title to that, or are you okay with it the way it is?)

Quote: Janette Fraser @ March 29 2012, 3:13 PM BST

Laughing 'with' is better than laughing 'at'... although if someone could tell me how to laugh 'with' the Penis I'd be much obliged. :D

Resists.

Quote: Janette Fraser @ March 29 2012, 2:49 PM BST

I remember Hot Chocolate! I was a kid when they were doing their stuff on Top of the Pops! Boy... that was a while ago.

There must be some good modern material in something that expands to 5 times it's size, provides an on-suit swimming pool and sends out babies into the world? Don't ya think? :-)

Belittling slight dated music tastes?

You may find it more beneficial to expand your mind. Before you expand your uterus.

Quote: Janette Fraser @ March 29 2012, 2:11 PM BST


Well - as much as we all love Penis and sperm jokes, it seems that Uteri are apparently not a laughing matter!

I'm not sure how you are equating those body parts / functions to uterusssesses. Surely vagina and love juice jokes would be the physical equivalent? Or for men, prostrate jokes?

And aren't the by-products of uterinals used in many a joke about periods and pregnancy?

What about hysterectomies? (or hysterical-ectomies as I call them - funny right?) Are they considered suitable for humourous reference?

Despite my reservations, I refuse to stand in the way of progress and if jokes about your joey pouch are gonna bring in the laughs, then I'm all for it.

Internal confusing lady bits FTW!

Quote: Janette Fraser @ March 29 2012, 2:11 PM BST

93

Bingo!

(do I win some nutty cultist stuff?)

Hey Renegade how can you tell when a womens menstruating?
It's bleeding obvious.

Why would you find Prince Charles in a uterus?
Because he's a stuck up c**t.

Why don't men make jokes about the clitoris?
Because they can't find them!

Why did Anne Widecombe buy a cat?
She wanted to have a pussy a man might stroke occaisonally (and Peter Mandelson might f**k)

What's the diference between Jordan's uterus and a council swimming pool.
Pool's got a maximun capacity.
Council swimming pools contain less piss
It's cheaper to get in a council swimmig pool.

Quote: sootyj @ March 29 2012, 5:35 PM BST

Why did Anne Widecombe buy a cat?
She wanted to have a pussy a man might stroke occaisonally (and Peter Mandelson might f**k)

What's the diference between Jordan's uterus and a council swimming pool.
Pool's got a maximun capacity.
Council swimming pools contain less piss
It's cheaper to get in a council swimmig pool.

Hmm, not sure that's the sort of joke the mystic lady was after, myself.

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