British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 734

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ March 26 2012, 11:50 AM BST

I say class because you described him as eccentric, which is posh code for mental spakka.

Laughing out loud

Quote: DaButt @ March 26 2012, 12:49 PM BST

Something I learned today: the man who leads the CIA's counterterrorism efforts, including drone strikes and the bin Laden mission, is himself a convert to Islam. Interesting.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/at-cia-a-convert-to-islam-leads-the-terrorism-hunt/2012/03/23/gIQA2mSqYS_story.html?tid=pm_pop

Reminds me of the Tommy Trinder story when he was walking down Whitehall during the war. A man came up to him and asked which side The War Office was on. He replied 'Ours I hope!'

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ March 26 2012, 1:23 PM BST

Rambly McNaked doesn't have to stay in prison. He has been released several times, however he refuses to put on clothes to walk home. He has made a deliberate choice to offend the authorities - including showing up to court stark bollock - and his actions have had repercussions. He's obviously a mental with serious attention issues.

Not neccasairly.

I mean if I robbed a bank with a shotgun, would that make me mentally ill?

On account of my socially abnormal method of withdrawing money?

He seems to be wanting to make a ridiculous point for no good reason. Frankly I'd give him community service on an abandoned Hebridean island full of brambles, thistles and hedgehogs.

But no one to see his tickle tackle and wait for him to wise up.

That's just it. If he wants to wander about with his dingly danglies on display, there are nudist camps, nude beaches, naked ramblers associations (probably), etc. No one is limiting his freedoms. Instead he is forcing his beliefs on others in the most selfish way possible, to make some idiotic point about God knows what.

If I don't get to smoke a cigarette in a pub, then this twunt doesn't get to show his cock and balls to children. Fair's fair and whatnot.

His cock and balls don't cause second hand cancer.

Infact his idiotic protest is more likely to human rights being more restricted than widened.

A bit like Gary Gilmore.

It may be second hand smoke but I think it's still first hand cancer.

Quote: rwayne @ March 26 2012, 2:40 PM BST

It may be second hand smoke but I think it's still first hand cancer.

Actually, you're both wrong, there is no scientific link proving that anyone has died from second hand tobacco smoke.

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

Boo!

'Do you mind if I get my penis out in front of your 9 year old daughter?'

Yay!

Gotta love the twisted logic on the BCG.

Is there even one person here who fits that profile?
You do like to generalise.

Quote: sootyj @ March 26 2012, 2:38 PM BST

His cock and balls don't cause second hand cancer.

Yes they can do, there's a link between fellatio and oral cancer; that's why RC is so scared.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17262897

"Fewer premature births after smoking ban in Scotland"

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ March 26 2012, 2:53 PM BST

Actually, you're both wrong, there is no scientific link proving that anyone has died from second hand tobacco smoke.

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

Boo!

'Do you mind if I get my penis out in front of your 9 year old daughter?'

Yay!

Gotta love the twisted logic on the BCG.

Don't talk like an idiot all the time.

No link!!... you're off your head. Too much time thinking about penises and guns! You want to get out in the fresh air.

Quote: Oldrocker @ March 26 2012, 1:47 PM BST

Reminds me of the Tommy Trinder story when he was walking down Whitehall during the war. A man came up to him and asked which side The War Office was on. He replied 'Ours I hope!'

Laughing out loud

It got me thinking about whether the CIA would ever put a Jew in charge of the drone strikes. I'd like to think that they'd always choose the best man or woman for the job but with political correctness these days ...

Quote: Harridan @ March 26 2012, 3:03 PM BST

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17262897

"Fewer premature births after smoking ban in Scotland"

The report is kind of conflicting, as asthma rates in that same time span rose sharply.

http://www.asthma.org.uk/news_media/media_resources/for_journalists_key.html

(scroll down and click on Wish You Were Here? - Scotland)

The decrease in premature births could be down to a number of factors, including better hospital and midwife care, a change in the population or a change in the ages at which women are giving birth.

Still, it's not cancer from second hand smoke. And thanks to the foreigns, all of our health statistics are compromised. London has the highest levels of TB in Europe, a disease which had almost disappeared two decades ago was re-introduced and spread through mass immigration.

Quote: rwayne @ March 26 2012, 3:19 PM BST

Don't talk like an idiot all the time.

No link!!... you're off your head.

The UK Government was brought to task about the lack of evidence when the smoking ban was introduced, citing it as the main justification for their actions.

It was a 'no-smoke screen'.

I'd be careful about chucking around the word idiot.

If it can cause in the person inhaling initially, then I don't see why what they breath out would be lovely and danger free fog. Obviously you'd have to breath in a shit ton of second hand smoke over a very long period, but still, it's pretty obvious it's not good for you.

I mean, smoke away, and I've never tried or wanted to stop anyone smoking, or even moved away from people when they're doing it, but let's not pretend it's not bad for anyone who inhales it, first hand or otherwise.

Definitely if you're a kid growing up in a smoking household that's got to have a detrimental effect on you. Even aside from the disgusting foul smell you'll be covered with every day.

I used to avoid going to one of my friend's houses at school, as there was a literal visible fog through her entire house. It was vile.

Trayvon Martin was slamming George Zimmerman's head on the sidewalk when he was shot: I'd call that justified self-defence.

With a single punch, Trayvon Martin decked the Neighborhood Watch volunteer who eventually shot and killed the unarmed 17-year-old, then Trayvon climbed on top of George Zimmerman and slammed his head into the sidewalk several times, leaving him bloody and battered, authorities have revealed to the Orlando Sentinel.

That is the account Zimmerman gave police, and much of it has been corroborated by witnesses, authorities say.

Zimmerman has not spoken publicly about what happened, but that night, Feb. 26, and in later meetings he described and re-enacted for police what he says happened.

In his version of events, he had turned around and was walking back to his SUV when Trayvon approached him from behind, the two exchanged words then Trayvon punched him in the nose, sending him to the ground, and began beating him.

Zimmerman told police he shot the teenager in self-defence.

Civil rights leaders and thousands of others have demanded Zimmerman's arrest, calling Trayvon a victim of racial profiling and Zimmerman a vigilante.

Trayvon was an unarmed black teenager who had committed no crime, an innocent who was gunned down while walking back from a 7-Eleven with nothing more sinister than a package of Skittles and can of Arizona iced tea.

Supporters have held rallies in Sanford, Miami, New York and Tallahassee, calling the case a tragic miscarriage of injustice.

Activist Al Sharpton headlined a rally in Sanford Thursday that drew an estimated 8,000 people. The Rev. Jesse Jackson yesterday spoke at an Eatonville church, where he called Trayvon a martyr.

Another rally is scheduled for 4 p.m. today in Sanford.

Zimmerman has gone into hiding. A fringe group, the New Black Panthers, have offered a $10,000 reward for his capture.

Police have been reluctant to provided details about all their evidence, but this is what they've disclosed to the Sentinel:

Zimmerman was on his way to the grocery store when he spotted Trayvon walking through his gated community.

Trayvon was visiting his father's fiancée, who lived there. He had been suspended from school in Miami after being found with an empty marijuana baggie. Miami schools have a zero-tolerance policy for drug possession.

Zimmerman called police and reported a suspicious person, describing Trayvon as black, acting strangely and perhaps on drugs.

Zimmerman got out of his SUV to follow Trayvon on foot. When a dispatch employee asked Zimmerman if he was following the 17-year-old, Zimmerman said yes. The dispatcher told Zimmerman he did not need to do that.

There is about a one-minute gap during which police say they're not sure what happened.

Zimmerman told them he lost sight of Trayvon and was walking back to his SUV when Trayvon approached him from the left rear, and they exchanged words.

Trayvon asked Zimmerman if he had a problem. Zimmerman said no and reached for his cell phone, he told police.

Trayvon then said, "Well, you do now" or something similar and punched Zimmerman in the nose.

Zimmerman fell to the ground and Trayvon got on top of him and began slamming his head into the sidewalk, he told police.

Zimmerman began yelling for help.

Several witnesses heard those cries, and there's been a dispute about from whom they came: Zimmerman or Trayvon.

Lawyers for Trayvon's family say it was Trayvon, but police say their evidence indicates it was Zimmerman.

One witnesses, who has since talked to local television news reporters, told police he saw Zimmerman on the ground with Trayvon on top, pounding him and was unequivocal that it was Zimmerman who was crying for help.

Zimmerman then shot Trayvon once in the chest from very close range, according to authorities.

When police arrived less than two minutes later, Zimmerman was bleeding from the nose, had a swollen lip and had bloody lacerations to the back of his head.

Paramedics gave him first aide but he said no to going to the hospital. He got medical care the next day.

The Department of Justice last week opened a civil rights investigation into what happened, and Gov. Rick Scott appointed a special prosecutor.

It's not clear whether the special prosecutor, Angela Corey, the state attorney for Duval, Clay and Nassau counties, will have Zimmerman arrested, announce that there's not enough evidence to file a manslaughter charge or present evidence to a grand jury.

http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2012-03-26/news/os-trayvon-martin-zimmerman-account-20120326_1_arizona-iced-tea-suv-unarmed-black-teenager

More peace and love from Jesse Jackson:

Preaching before an estimated 1,600 people Sunday, the Rev. Jesse Jackson said the death of Trayvon Martin could be a tragic moment or the beginning of a movement.

"How do we go from a moment to a movement that creates fundamental change?" Jackson told the capacity crowd at the Macedonia Missionary Baptist Church in Eatonville. "If it's a moment, we go home. If it's a movement, we go to war."

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