British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 714

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ March 21 2012, 9:57 PM GMT

Um, you've never heard of knives, baseball bats, tire irons, etc.?

The poor man who died in the London riots was punched and killed. How do you go about banning that?

Yeah, that's what I said. I said that no one would ever be murdered ever if only guns were illegal everywhere. I am that f**king stupid.

If this guy had been following the kid with a baseball bat or even a knife he would have had a better chance of coming out alive.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ March 21 2012, 9:57 PM GMT

The poor man who died in the London riots was punched and killed. How do you go about banning that?

Odd argument. Guns are created to kill, fists aren't, but can be used for such obviously. Not the same, really!

Quote: Matthew Stott @ March 21 2012, 10:00 PM GMT

If you would like a gun, f**k off to America! That's part of their culture, fine. :)

It was also part of British culture for centuries. The stringent gun laws only began in the early 20th century due to governmental fear of a disgruntled proliteriate embracing commnunism.

I think the British Olympics are the first in history that won't allow real firearms on the shooting ranges.

Quote: Harridan @ March 21 2012, 9:47 PM GMT

Amazing. This makes you think people owning guns is a good idea?

The last statistics I read said that there was a total of one murder committed in a year's time by the half-million-or-so Texans licensed to carry a concealed handgun. That means that Texans who legally carry handguns are 5 times less likely to murder someone than the average (gun-denied) citizen of the UK.

Remember that scene in Peep Show, with gunny? I just had a flash of that, but with Sooty and RC as Mark and Jez. :D

Quote: Harridan @ March 21 2012, 9:58 PM GMT

I suppose none of you have ever taken a shortcut before? He wasn't trespassing in someone's bedroom, he was walking down a private street. How can you honestly say he got what was coming to him? What a bunch of bastards you are.

F**k him and his jaywalking.

F**k the 3 guys who just murdered a surgeon for his car.

Frankly if between easy access to abortion twinned with disinsentivising welfare families and shooting people who can't read and obey signs. Then maybe we might just reduce the arsehole population that is threatening to swamp us.

It's all in Freakonomics.

Quote: DaButt @ March 21 2012, 10:03 PM GMT

The last statistics I read said that there was a total of one murder committed in a year's time by the half-million-or-so Texans licensed to carry a concealed handgun. That means that Texans who legally carry handguns are 5 times less likely to murder someone than the average (gun-denied) citizen of the UK.

America's definition of murder seems a little wobbly, though.

[quote name="Renegade Carpark" post="862657" date="March 21 2012, 10:03 PM GMT"]It was also part of British culture for centuries. quote]
And things change. People used to drown suspected witches too! (They should deffo bring that back though)

Quote: Harridan @ March 21 2012, 9:54 PM GMT

If this guy had not had a gun this teenager would not be dead.

I can make statements irrelevant to the case at hand, too:

If the guy didn't have a gun and the kid had a screwdriver, knife, gun or atomic bomb in his pants, the homeowner would be dead.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ March 21 2012, 10:04 PM GMT

Remember that scene in Peep Show, with gunny? I just had a flash of that, but with Sooty and RC as Mark and Jez. :D

F**k you Stott

I've got a brick in a sock with your name on it. Seriously I draw it on with nail varnish.

I'm exhibiting it in a Shoreditch gallery.

Besides you have your lethal boxing skills to keep you safe.

Aaaand I'm done.

Yes, Matthew and we only stopped witch burning because we were afraid it might make people communists.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ March 21 2012, 10:03 PM GMT

It was also part of British culture for centuries. The stringent gun laws only began in the early 20th century due to governmental fear of a disgruntled proliteriate embracing commnunism.

I think the British Olympics are the first in history that won't allow real firearms on the shooting ranges.

True up until in the 1950s I believe.

Quote: Harridan @ March 21 2012, 10:02 PM GMT

Yeah, that's what I said. I said that no one would ever be murdered ever if only guns were illegal everywhere. I am that f**king stupid.

If this guy had been following the kid with a baseball bat or even a knife he would have had a better chance of coming out alive.

Do you have any idea how deadly a knife is?

Now if he'd had a can of mace or a moderate powered tazer as most European countries allow...

Quote: sootyj @ March 21 2012, 10:09 PM GMT

True up until in the 1950s I believe.

1968 was the last major change to British firearms law until Hungerford and Dunblane changed everything based on kneejerk reactions from frightened Britons.

Dunblane is extremely troublesome as their was a suspected paedophile link between the shooter and the Chief of Police.

Oh and the Hungerford killer was reported to the police by several members of his own gun club, but their concerns were ignored.

If the pair of you would just admit you have boner's for guns, we would all understand and we could move on. Talk about those otters that looke like Sherlock or something.

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