Exclusive! Here's something not in tonight's episode!
Dan
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Human Rights Drop
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JUSTIN:
Misunderstanding of the withdrawal method can lead to rather sticky circumstances, and backbenchers this week wanted Britain to pull out of the European Convention for Human Rights; at least long enough to send Abu Qatada back to Jordan. This is potentially a more dangerous precedent, than George W. Bush.
VOICEOVER:
For one week only! An amazing, never-to-be-beaten special offer from UK plc! No charges on any Human Rights violations!
CROWD:
What?
V/O:
Yes! That's right! Absolutely all charges dropped, right across the waterboard!
CROWD:
No!
V/O:
Yes!
WARDER:
Make criminals wear pink underwear?
V/O:
No charge!
CARDINAL:
Deliberately misunderstand Human Rights to argue for banning gay marriage?
V/O:
No charge!
CHRISTIAN:
Wear a crucifix at work? Openly?
POLITICIAN:
Admit to war crime charges to fasttrack my ex-PM knighthood?
JOE PUBLIC:
Allow Azerbaijan to host the Eurovision Song Contest?!
V/O:
Absolutely no charges whatsoever! And use the amnesty to get what you need!
POLICEMAN:
Torture suspects to improve crime statistics in my jurisdiction?
V/O:
Yes!
POLITICIAN:
Send a grade-A lunatic back to his home country even though his admissions were performed under torture?
V/O:
Go for your life! Or theirs!
WARDER:
Make prisoners wear pink underwear?
V/O:
Enough with the pink underwear! If you need *your* Human Rights violation redacted, take advantage now! Wipe the slate clean! (LOW) Of blood and grey matter from a botched interrogation (NORMAL) now!
END