Oop North - iPad skit

Quite often my old mate Sootyj, in the middle of a frivolous exchange between us on various threads, will come up (at lightening speed) with a sketch featuring the fictional northerner Will Cam, his much put on wife Mrs Will Cam, and their pet whippet Sootyj.

They always make me laugh especially this last one which I put up for your critique on his behalf (because he really is a whippet and can't use the keyboard on the iPad).

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/post/859350/

Please come back to this thread with comments

Well, I liked it!

WILLCAM IS SITTING IN HIS PARLOUR LOOKING AT A TIN BUCKET

WILL TURNS BUCKET UPSIDE AND SITS ON IT

WILL GETS OFF OF BUCKET TURNS IT RIGHT WAY AND TAKES A SHITE IN IT

OOR WULLIE BURSTS IN

OOR WULLIE
Where's ma fookin bastard bucket? ya sassenach bastard!

WILL LOOKS EMBARASSED

OOR WULLIE
Ya dirty wee fekkin bastard!

OOR WULLIE HEAD BUTTS WILL CAM WHO FALLS OVER
OOR WULLIE LOOKS AT HIS BELOVED BESHITTED BUCKET

OOR WULLIE
Ya wee dirst bastard! I orta give ya a Paisley smile!

WILL
Please don't. I'm in yon gurning competition on the 'morra. And if you cut my face, I'll ave to show 'em my arse.

OOR WULLIE LOOKS ON IN DISGUST

OOR WULLIE PAINTS HIS FACE BLUE AND WHITE WITH SOME PAINT CONVENIENTLY LYING AROUND

OOR WULLIE
Right I'm off to rise an army and sack the north east! Freedom! Freedom! Buckets!

OOR WULLIE STORMS OUT

WILLCAM
Sootyj ya useful, idle, beast why didn't ya bite the scotch git!

CUT TO SOOTYJ (THE WHIPPET) HEAD STUCK IN BUCKET WOLFING DOWN THE CONTENTS

WILLCAM
Oh well save a few bob on Chappy. Turned out nice again!

I'm astounded you're so well informed about Oor Wullie!

Seriously, these are so funny. Well done.

Quote: keewik @ March 13 2012, 7:43 PM GMT

Seriously, these are so funny. Well done.

View original

'
And it's a seriously funny from me.

WILL CAM IS SITTING IDLY IN HIS PARLOUR WITH ANDY CAPP

ANDY
Aye Will this job market is a reet state.

WILLCAM
Aye that it is, when the treacle bending market picks up it'll be work again.

ANDY
It's us treacle benders wot always get left owt. A tole my missus that last night before I blackened her eye.

WILLCAM
Blackened her eye? You romantic old pooftah.

ANDY
Aye who ye callin' a pooftah?

MRS WILLCAM WALKS IN SHE'S WEARING DARK GLASSES

MRS WILLCAM
Willcam are ye wrestling naked in our parlour agin? This isn't blasted women in love.

MRS WILLCAM TAKES OFF HER DARK GLASSES SHE HAS 2 SHINING BLACK EYES

WILLCAM
Andy Cap yon silver tongued Geordie whore!

ANDY CAP AND WILLCAM SCRAP IN A CARTOON TUMBLE OF BLOWS WHERE NOTHING CAN BE SEEN

THE FIGHTING FINISHES BOTH ANDY CAP AND WILL CAM HAVE BLACK EYES

MRS WILLCAM
You pair of pooftahs.

SOOTYJ (THE WHIPPET) SLINKS IN HE 2 HAS 2 BLACK EYES

SOOTYJ
Woof

ANDY CAP, WILL CAM, MRS WILL CAM
I didnae bloody do that? Then who did?

ALAN BENETT WALKS IN WITH A PORTRAIT OF THE QUEEN WITH 2 BLACK EYES

ALAN BENETT
After what he did to my queen Lizzle!

WILLCAM
Turned out nice again. Any one for a fat lip?

Good ones Sootyj !!!